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for The War is on

7/20/2007 c1 dog.obsessed
I really enjoy reading your porems, and how you come up with such creative phrases. Nice job. :)
5/20/2007 c1 174a silenced revolution
Nice imagery and word choice. Lovely poem.

2/16/2007 c1 13stormqueen33
I like it. The alternating italics and not italics make it seem like two points of view; it's a very interesting effect. Very good poem; keep writing.

P.S. Thanks for the review!
8/23/2006 c1 Edgar Wellington
First off, thanks for reading my words. Its a good feeling to somehow touch people that way.

I have read all your poems. You have some strengths and some wants. In general I like the way you focus. I like that I believe your poems are about things that have touched you in a way. This is important for the writer as well as the reader.

On the other hand, I don't get what I want. This is probably due to the difference in our ages. I am more than twice your age.

When I read a poem I want surprises, both in content and in delivery. I want language that makes things happen in my head. I don't want to say yours does not do this for anyone; I am sure you effect people who experience these things like you do (and I used to!). But give me daring images, strange wording. Experiment. It won't hurt anyone if you go overboard. It might expand the boundaries of your writing.

Like I said, I think your subjects are genuine. I like your observations of your life. That is essential to writing poetry with broader appeal. Keep writing and let me know when you have something new. I promise I'll take a look!
8/19/2006 c1 Janet
Look, I'm finally reviewing! Good poem, good poem, the beginning sounds so peaceful but it gets darker ^^ good good
8/18/2006 c1 Creperusitationosity
I really love this one. The rhyming, the imagery, the subject, everything about it.

The only thing I can really comment on is how the poem starts past tense and changes to present and back again. For instance:

"Dark clouds start to cover the skyThe pale moon disappeared"

The changing tense made reading it a little shaky, but overall this poem is fantastic. Great work!
8/8/2006 c1 24leon Hart87
Thats good
8/3/2006 c1 rocketengine
I like how you started it with "The stars shimmered" which made it seem like everything was fine..then it grew darker and darker. I love the last stanza, it was a powerful ending. :)
7/21/2006 c1 Humaysha
you know, for some reason this reminds me of the the battle of badr or uhud, i don't really know which one but it reminds me of an islamic battle, don't ask me why. it was really good. i have no idea what else to say. lol :)
7/16/2006 c1 sara
wow i luv this poem manit has soo much imagery in it!i could picture evey single word u wrote! it wass awsome...man u should realli write more poems lyk this!
7/15/2006 c1 Saman
Okay wow! now im just jealous...how in the world do u get ure poems to flow so well..and that imagery...can we say A-MA-ZING? lol its awesome yaar keep it up! (gawd im so jealous:D)
7/14/2006 c1 89rira-chan
wow loved this poem too! it was really powerful and the emotion comes across really well! great job!

7/14/2006 c1 4its not Catie its Cady
It's a really beautiful poem. You really have a way with words. Your imagery is really amazing. I also like the way that you used bold letters, it really seems to make a strong emphasis, an fits well with the poem. I wish I could say that I have suggestions for you, but I think it's perfect the way it is! ~cady

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