for Trick DRAFT12/31/2008 c26 
12Reminising Obsession
I take it back im beginning to luv Rat.Hes not as cruel as i thought...
And also so true.So very true...Flava Flav is one ugly mutha...u know...
Anyway,just wanted to say that
12Reminising ObsessionI take it back im beginning to luv Rat.Hes not as cruel as i thought...
And also so true.So very true...Flava Flav is one ugly mutha...u know...
Anyway,just wanted to say that
12/31/2008 c35 1Spidergirl21
YES your makeing a number2 so happy.
I liked this chapter i thought it was good
1Spidergirl21YES your makeing a number2 so happy.
I liked this chapter i thought it was good
12/31/2008 c35 2alexa-xox
congratulations on finishing! It was superb, i laughed at Jakobi and Helana's friendly teasing, it was very well written. Trick is a full blown irish man, enjoying his drink as muh as he does! I was truly enjoying the St Patrick's day bash.
It's a shame that the story is over, as it was such an enjoyable story to read. I hope that your future works continue to be as successful and unputdownable :P
I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
Xox
2alexa-xoxcongratulations on finishing! It was superb, i laughed at Jakobi and Helana's friendly teasing, it was very well written. Trick is a full blown irish man, enjoying his drink as muh as he does! I was truly enjoying the St Patrick's day bash.
It's a shame that the story is over, as it was such an enjoyable story to read. I hope that your future works continue to be as successful and unputdownable :P
I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
Xox
12/30/2008 c35 1glamoureste
AW... the ending sentence was so cute!
GREAT JOB with this story! I enjoyed every part of it :]
1glamouresteAW... the ending sentence was so cute!
GREAT JOB with this story! I enjoyed every part of it :]
12/30/2008 c35 Visual Princess
oh no its over!
this is one of the best stories ive read on here
you've done such a good job woth it
im gonna miss trick
ur on my alerts cant wait until the sequel
~VP~
oh no its over!
this is one of the best stories ive read on here
you've done such a good job woth it
im gonna miss trick
ur on my alerts cant wait until the sequel
~VP~
12/30/2008 c35 1Jevanminx
I finally finished, though only took me so long cause every detail was so fascinating I had to make sure a read it all. A brilliant story and I have a feeling we never fully found out why Terra was turned into one of Rats dolls.
I cannot wait until the sequel. I was on msn to jenjen-o during the last 5 or so chapters, and I think she was getting slightly aggravated with my OMG's when something new came to light. Like Adam and then him nearly dying and then Jakobi, okay yeah just everything, hehehe.
JM
1JevanminxI finally finished, though only took me so long cause every detail was so fascinating I had to make sure a read it all. A brilliant story and I have a feeling we never fully found out why Terra was turned into one of Rats dolls.
I cannot wait until the sequel. I was on msn to jenjen-o during the last 5 or so chapters, and I think she was getting slightly aggravated with my OMG's when something new came to light. Like Adam and then him nearly dying and then Jakobi, okay yeah just everything, hehehe.
JM
12/30/2008 c3 Vermis
Alright, so I like the story so far, but it strikes me as odd that when I get to the German parts and read them, they make no sense to me. So, I read them again, and they still make no sense to me. Then, I read the "English translation" and say to myself "OK, that's not what she said in German - not even close."
Bilden Sie es Anschlag means random shit. Forms (the plural noun, not the verb) they/you it attack (as in 'an attack' not 'to attack'). If you were trying to say "make it stop" you'd say something like "Mach's halten" (make it stop) or "Halt's von mir vor" (get it away from me).
Ficken Sie means f* you. F* as in the literal verb to f* as in to procreate and you as in the formal as in thou. If you were trying to say "F*!" like a general curse, you would just say Scheisse, or verdammt if you were trying to be really offensive. If you were actually trying to say f* you, there's a few ways to say it. Fick dich ins Knie (f* you in the knee), verpiss dich, etc.
Her little outbreak made no sense, and you left part of the english in there so it was pretty obvious you babelfished it. Here's my rough translation on how one would actually say it - bare in mind I haven't had to speak german in years and it should probably be proofread:
"Eigentlich, haette ich gleich einen schrecklichen Albtraum, dafuer sollte ich dir hochmoegliche danken fuer mich aufgewachen, doch werd ich's nicht weil du so einen kalten Herz hast und machtet's nur mir Weh zu tuen. Sondern spreche ich Deutsch dich zu aufpissen, denn ich bin sehr sicher du verstehst kein Wort, und auch hab ich dich nicht so gerne und deinen Schuhen gleicht deine Ausstattung ganz nicht."
Anywhere you see ae it should be รค I'm just a bit too lazy to actually type that all the time, and ae works just as well.
...Honestly, if you're going to have a character speak a different language at least ATTEMPT to speak the language first, or if you can't then put it in italics or something. It REALLY detracts from the story when someone who can speak a little of the language starts reading and recognizes it immediately as gibberish. I'm not claiming my german is perfect, but I mean come on now. Babelfish is not your friend, especially not with a language as touchy as German.
Also, Veleska sounds more Russian than German. In German it would be pronounced Feh-leh-shkah, and that just sounds kinda weird. Rose is more of an American/French last name, I've never met a german person with anything close to the word rose (Rosenkrantz maybe, but I'm not sure if that's actually a name or not) as a surname. Probably not completely unheard of, but to me it really doesn't sound like she's German at all.
Beyond my minor irritation with the language (comes with majoring in linguistics), the story is actually pretty good. I'm only three chapters in so I haven't yet been able to bite into the meat of the plot, but it's got me in enough to where I will most definitely keep going - just know I'm going to be skipping over any German parts.
-Vermis
Alright, so I like the story so far, but it strikes me as odd that when I get to the German parts and read them, they make no sense to me. So, I read them again, and they still make no sense to me. Then, I read the "English translation" and say to myself "OK, that's not what she said in German - not even close."
Bilden Sie es Anschlag means random shit. Forms (the plural noun, not the verb) they/you it attack (as in 'an attack' not 'to attack'). If you were trying to say "make it stop" you'd say something like "Mach's halten" (make it stop) or "Halt's von mir vor" (get it away from me).
Ficken Sie means f* you. F* as in the literal verb to f* as in to procreate and you as in the formal as in thou. If you were trying to say "F*!" like a general curse, you would just say Scheisse, or verdammt if you were trying to be really offensive. If you were actually trying to say f* you, there's a few ways to say it. Fick dich ins Knie (f* you in the knee), verpiss dich, etc.
Her little outbreak made no sense, and you left part of the english in there so it was pretty obvious you babelfished it. Here's my rough translation on how one would actually say it - bare in mind I haven't had to speak german in years and it should probably be proofread:
"Eigentlich, haette ich gleich einen schrecklichen Albtraum, dafuer sollte ich dir hochmoegliche danken fuer mich aufgewachen, doch werd ich's nicht weil du so einen kalten Herz hast und machtet's nur mir Weh zu tuen. Sondern spreche ich Deutsch dich zu aufpissen, denn ich bin sehr sicher du verstehst kein Wort, und auch hab ich dich nicht so gerne und deinen Schuhen gleicht deine Ausstattung ganz nicht."
Anywhere you see ae it should be รค I'm just a bit too lazy to actually type that all the time, and ae works just as well.
...Honestly, if you're going to have a character speak a different language at least ATTEMPT to speak the language first, or if you can't then put it in italics or something. It REALLY detracts from the story when someone who can speak a little of the language starts reading and recognizes it immediately as gibberish. I'm not claiming my german is perfect, but I mean come on now. Babelfish is not your friend, especially not with a language as touchy as German.
Also, Veleska sounds more Russian than German. In German it would be pronounced Feh-leh-shkah, and that just sounds kinda weird. Rose is more of an American/French last name, I've never met a german person with anything close to the word rose (Rosenkrantz maybe, but I'm not sure if that's actually a name or not) as a surname. Probably not completely unheard of, but to me it really doesn't sound like she's German at all.
Beyond my minor irritation with the language (comes with majoring in linguistics), the story is actually pretty good. I'm only three chapters in so I haven't yet been able to bite into the meat of the plot, but it's got me in enough to where I will most definitely keep going - just know I'm going to be skipping over any German parts.
-Vermis
12/29/2008 c35 4hadia
oh my God it's over!
I can't tell you whether I'm incredibly happy or incredibly sad, because the ending was just as it should have been and yet it still seems to have come so soon. Jakobi will always be my personal crush (: and Trick and Helena have definitely found their way into my heart. I related with these characters a lot, and more than once you'd see me giggling at my laptop screen xD thanks for writing a great story, can't wait to see it published-you can expect me to buy the first copy (:
4hadiaoh my God it's over!
I can't tell you whether I'm incredibly happy or incredibly sad, because the ending was just as it should have been and yet it still seems to have come so soon. Jakobi will always be my personal crush (: and Trick and Helena have definitely found their way into my heart. I related with these characters a lot, and more than once you'd see me giggling at my laptop screen xD thanks for writing a great story, can't wait to see it published-you can expect me to buy the first copy (:
12/29/2008 c13 1Jevanminx
I got sent this story by jenjen-o. It's a bad influence I tell you, so enthralling that I am hunched over my laptop past midnight reading it. I can't wait for each chapter, going I'll read this chapter then stop, but just can't, hehehe. I congratulate you on an excellent story even if I haven't completed reading it yet.
JM
1JevanminxI got sent this story by jenjen-o. It's a bad influence I tell you, so enthralling that I am hunched over my laptop past midnight reading it. I can't wait for each chapter, going I'll read this chapter then stop, but just can't, hehehe. I congratulate you on an excellent story even if I haven't completed reading it yet.
JM
12/29/2008 c35 UnKnwnDrkniss
OMG. You're on my author alerts thing, this story is on my alert thing, and it's in my favorites. but WHY did it stop sending me notifications when you updated? D: It stopped ages ago! I just thought you had never finished the story.
BUT YOU FINISHED! and it was GREAT! =D I really really want to listen to Flogging Molly right now xD
But yeah, great story, so glad you finished it. =]
I hope to read more of your stories in the future! -and hopefully I'll be notified when you update =I
-Nida
OMG. You're on my author alerts thing, this story is on my alert thing, and it's in my favorites. but WHY did it stop sending me notifications when you updated? D: It stopped ages ago! I just thought you had never finished the story.
BUT YOU FINISHED! and it was GREAT! =D I really really want to listen to Flogging Molly right now xD
But yeah, great story, so glad you finished it. =]
I hope to read more of your stories in the future! -and hopefully I'll be notified when you update =I
-Nida
12/29/2008 c35 14jenjen-0
Ah god I can't believe it's over...so sad now! But the sequel shall sustain me. I hope. I was actually going to ask if it was going to be published, but you answered that in your AN. Because I'm cool like that and read the whole thing.
Count Ratcula? Very original. Very. I just bought the DVD Dracula today funnily enough. Doing my dissertation for my English class on vampires in English literature :P
So, definitely anxiously waiting for the sequel!
14jenjen-0Ah god I can't believe it's over...so sad now! But the sequel shall sustain me. I hope. I was actually going to ask if it was going to be published, but you answered that in your AN. Because I'm cool like that and read the whole thing.
Count Ratcula? Very original. Very. I just bought the DVD Dracula today funnily enough. Doing my dissertation for my English class on vampires in English literature :P
So, definitely anxiously waiting for the sequel!
12/29/2008 c35 Lua Adversa
Yay! Congratulations for you! ^^
I liked the ending so much! Is light, fun, and wraps up pretty much everything that emerged in the story... well, maybe not everything, but at least enough so we readers can have a satifying ending for the story we've been following for some time. And what wasn't covered in the ending will give you enough material to work on the sequel, linking the two stories together! The (not so) subtle glimpse in the Jakobi-Terra relationship will surely spark the interest for many readers (well, at least for me it did), so can I assume a second remantic pair for the next fic? ;p Oh well, guess I'll have to wait and see...
Again, congratulations for your great fic! You're on my authors alert list, so I guess I'll be reading more from you soon...
Until there then! :)
Yay! Congratulations for you! ^^
I liked the ending so much! Is light, fun, and wraps up pretty much everything that emerged in the story... well, maybe not everything, but at least enough so we readers can have a satifying ending for the story we've been following for some time. And what wasn't covered in the ending will give you enough material to work on the sequel, linking the two stories together! The (not so) subtle glimpse in the Jakobi-Terra relationship will surely spark the interest for many readers (well, at least for me it did), so can I assume a second remantic pair for the next fic? ;p Oh well, guess I'll have to wait and see...
Again, congratulations for your great fic! You're on my authors alert list, so I guess I'll be reading more from you soon...
Until there then! :)
12/29/2008 c35 allhailthesporks
Oh, my God! It's over! Helana, Trick, Jak, Rat, Terra, Ekaj...all such great characters. That was such an amazing ending! Very rarely does an ending come along that makes me say, "Wow," but this is definitely one of them. And I feel like I'm overflowing with ideas! Haha. Gosh, this story is so awesomamazing.
And for old times' sake...
*BLUEHAIRGASM*
Love and jumps of joy,
Jess
Oh, my God! It's over! Helana, Trick, Jak, Rat, Terra, Ekaj...all such great characters. That was such an amazing ending! Very rarely does an ending come along that makes me say, "Wow," but this is definitely one of them. And I feel like I'm overflowing with ideas! Haha. Gosh, this story is so awesomamazing.
And for old times' sake...
*BLUEHAIRGASM*
Love and jumps of joy,
Jess