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for Trick DRAFT

10/4/2006 c9 5Sure as the Dawn
This chapter was awesome! Trick let his guard down which he is sometimes loathe to do. Don't let miniscule review numbers get ya down! Why? 'Cause I LOVE THE STORY! :) :)
10/3/2006 c9 6Rogue-writer-16
I really loved this story. I absolutely love Trick and Helena and her mother reminds me of my mum, a little crazy sometimes. Hehehe. As i said, i really loved it and you have awesome talent. Keep writing and update soon.

Luv ya.
9/29/2006 c9 23Jordan Storm
interesting, I'm enjoying this so far
9/28/2006 c9 NowOrNever
Oo, intense.

Loved the scene with Trick when he explained what happened. You had some great imagery and the chemistry between Hels and Trick is amazing.

I loved a lot of your dialogue in this chapter, but especially... ""Am I one?" I asked with a smile creeping slowly into my face. I knew the answer to that question before I asked it."You are an exception to everything." He mumbled, eyes black and eyeing me closely. I couldn't stop the beaming smile that spread across my face. I caught Trick's smiling eyes crinkling around the edge as he sighed in defeat."

Anyway, I'm waiting for more. I can't wait to see what happens!

: )
9/27/2006 c9 5Ocean's Lover
I knew it! OMGosh! don't ever stop writing you are so awsome! ok spas attack over
9/27/2006 c9 11Riley Kathleen
^^ I totally guessed that. Wicked awesome story so far. I do hope you aren't too slow with updates. I love this story so far.

9/26/2006 c9 Deviliscious
Wow. This is getting to be very interesting. I can't wait to know what will happen next! I like Trick and Jakobi...I hope you put more of Jakobi in.

So anyways, keep up the good work and update!

PS: Happy belated birthday! ^_^
9/26/2006 c9 19Nyte Shade
Wow...thats alot to take in, how will this change everything?
9/26/2006 c9 58My Bitter Swan Song
*squeals* ok, so the whole Trick being the wolf thing was rather predictable, but still...*squeals again* UPDATE SON!
9/26/2006 c8 northernmoon
First of all...WOW you sure packed it in on this chapter!

TECHNICAL-I didn't really mind the whole dress description for helena... as long as she doesn't get all clothes obssessd now. Again with describing sensations you do an awesome job. I seriously felt H's nausea from the steak blood and how that lead straight to her reaction to Rat's after dinner snack.

CHARACTER- I really like heather/helena moments...they feel very sweet, amusing and real. I've also just noticed that often when you describe helena frustrated she growls and howls...cute.Honestly I did feel a little overwhelmed at times with all of the characters in this chapter, that said, you still do a good job maintaining those you've already established and still defining the new creepiness that is Rat. Also kind of randomly...I loved this sentence:

The words lashed out and cut me, even though they were aimed at Trick. They seemed to bounce off and hit me instead.

keep writing!

PLOT- wow...so much comes out here. despite that the story still feels like there is so much left unknown.

please take your time and make it as long as you need to to do it full justice.
9/26/2006 c7 northernmoon
TECHNICAL-good job describing H's exhaustion & seth of course

CHARACTER-seth pulling down his pants in tatoo show-n-tell amused me. Also very curious about Trick's change towards H.

PLOT- ok i'm a little worried now about helena's baby bro... If I haven't said it before, you really do an amazing job every chapter at setting up little puzzles & giving clues to questions raised in past chapters.
9/26/2006 c6 northernmoon
TECHNICAL-very good job elaborating on the cold vs soft nature of Trick

CHARACTER- ok, now I'm curious about the whole vegetarian thing...is there a further connection here with Luis? I like helena as a sneaky girl. Interesting choice to have eric save her instead of trick.

PLOT- These 2 lines capture all of the mystery of this chapter to me:

"I wonder how long until Patrick realizes she's here."

"He'll come running in a few minutes. He'll smell her in his woods soon enough."
9/26/2006 c5 northernmoon
TECHNICAL- seriously, you totally rock the martial arts descriptions.

CHARACTER-like how you reveal why H chose the smaller of the 2 bedrooms...sneaky...i like it! Also, I totally didn't see Trick as an instructor coming...him as a dance instructor really broadens my view of him...also what the hell? why is he such a spaz when helena touches him? I want to know! (as a side note I love him getting scolded by heather!)

PLOT- I want to know what's up jakobi and his whole searching eyes deal...i want to know what he's looking for too!(I whine) ALSO scary things hapen when Helena meditates...what was it that broke? I hope we find out at some point.
9/26/2006 c4 northernmoon
TECHNICAL- pretty impressive training descriptions. Great idea to showcase different styles represented each by a blackbelt student.

CHARACTER- I like that you showcase helena as both a loner and a smartass here. I really like her.

PLOT- ok so helena's whole matrix moment thingy was very cool. I am absolutley in love with how you hold so much back about her...i really want to know more!
9/26/2006 c3 northernmoon
TECHNICAL- very clear cut description of the school without going over the top with detail. At the same time making me totally jealous because I want to go there!CHARACTER- Nice job giving some insight to heather through helena's eyes, Also very good job setting up jakobi with tiny hints to futher mysteryPLOT-chpt seemed mostly as a set up for more to come, I can see here that the story is going to be broader than it seemed at first. That a bigger mystery exists than just Trick.
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