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for Cruel Beauty

7/8/2007 c1 Kira Bates
too rushed. not enough detail. you could fix it pretty easily though, go into more detail about why he doesn't tell his proffesion, he seemed way too eager to spill the beans for someone who hides it so well. maybe start with the girl. if you really wanted to stretch it out, you could do well to tell it, at least partly, from the woman's point of view.

good basic plotline though.

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