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6/28/2006 c1 grannyluva
Very ironic. Very well written. I enjoyed it. Somewhat abstract but very realistic at the same time.
6/27/2006 c1 59Frore
Aw, that's so sad, Jenn! Poor little boy. I liked how he seemed so innocent to the whole situation, and how the father's words foreshadowed what would happen. At first I thought that perhaps the mother would try to hurt the little boy just to spite the father.

Maybe vary the sentence structure a little bit?

By the way, this line really struck me as awesome, for some reason:

"The headlights were pulled away from the porch."

Amazing work, keep on writing.

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