for This Is Scaring Me9/26/2010 c1 
1tsukiro
Beautiful poem.
I have read your story Honourshill while it was still posted and i loved it. It still is one of my favorite stories, and I still think about Ayah and Drew.
I really hope you get it published, because i would love to read it again.
1tsukiroBeautiful poem.
I have read your story Honourshill while it was still posted and i loved it. It still is one of my favorite stories, and I still think about Ayah and Drew.
I really hope you get it published, because i would love to read it again.
4/13/2009 c1 unsociable
greetings...
it's honest, almost brutally so but very beautiful at the same time. lovely use of emjambment, creating the 'scared' effect.
i like it, really i do.
love,
~unsociable
greetings...
it's honest, almost brutally so but very beautiful at the same time. lovely use of emjambment, creating the 'scared' effect.
i like it, really i do.
love,
~unsociable
12/15/2006 c1 4marginalia
This poem is beautiful. My favorite part is the last stanza, it contains true, pure emotion. Very well done.
Quincy
4marginaliaThis poem is beautiful. My favorite part is the last stanza, it contains true, pure emotion. Very well done.
Quincy
7/4/2006 c1 The Rejection
I like the use of I/i. It's something I did in a poem myself (though one not nearly as good as this) and I think it gives further insight about the way the narrator feels about herself.
I think this ties in perfectly with Ayah in Honourshill - her fear of becoming close, of being known. What I like most about your most recent story is that it really delves into the character - Hilton Academy was good, and the characters were there, but Ayah's hypersensitivity really bring me closer to her. In a way, I can relate because even though I don't move around and even though I do have friends I've never had a terribly close relationship and while I yearn for it in some ways, in other ways I'm much more comfortable with myself and I unconsciously push people away.
But anyway, the commas break up the thoughts well, and I like the stacatto feeling of the last verse and the way the longer words beg to be spoken outloud. Good job.
I like the use of I/i. It's something I did in a poem myself (though one not nearly as good as this) and I think it gives further insight about the way the narrator feels about herself.
I think this ties in perfectly with Ayah in Honourshill - her fear of becoming close, of being known. What I like most about your most recent story is that it really delves into the character - Hilton Academy was good, and the characters were there, but Ayah's hypersensitivity really bring me closer to her. In a way, I can relate because even though I don't move around and even though I do have friends I've never had a terribly close relationship and while I yearn for it in some ways, in other ways I'm much more comfortable with myself and I unconsciously push people away.
But anyway, the commas break up the thoughts well, and I like the stacatto feeling of the last verse and the way the longer words beg to be spoken outloud. Good job.
6/29/2006 c1 51bangbangstartagain
hey. really good poem. i could see her thinking these points. well done.
GA
51bangbangstartagainhey. really good poem. i could see her thinking these points. well done.
GA
6/29/2006 c1 38Perfect Bliss
Ohg beautiful. just like your story... I love this so very much. You did an excelent job.
38Perfect BlissOhg beautiful. just like your story... I love this so very much. You did an excelent job.
6/29/2006 c1 high VOLTage ZYX
this is nice! it ties in nicely with the fears that are present in honourshill and the flow is nice too. i also like the last couple of lines "if i didn't feel it/at all/i think/i would be scared/even more" i like that. anyways, good job
this is nice! it ties in nicely with the fears that are present in honourshill and the flow is nice too. i also like the last couple of lines "if i didn't feel it/at all/i think/i would be scared/even more" i like that. anyways, good job
6/29/2006 c1 3Lady Wrye
This is a very honest, emotion-full poem. I really like the last couple of lines.
'but if I didn't feel it, at all, I think, I would be scared, even more.'
It really evokes a lot of feelings.
Good job.
3Lady WryeThis is a very honest, emotion-full poem. I really like the last couple of lines.
'but if I didn't feel it, at all, I think, I would be scared, even more.'
It really evokes a lot of feelings.
Good job.
6/29/2006 c1 Lauren
Really lovely. Flows nicely. I liked the symmatry of it.
Really lovely. Flows nicely. I liked the symmatry of it.