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for As Boys become Men

9/17/2006 c1 26Dragonslostchild
That was sort of... creepy. Good, but creepy. The ending conveyed a startling truth that really made me sad.

But aren't you going into the army? Dunno if that's the way a soldier-to-be should be thinking...

Brimstone
8/5/2006 c1 236mezzie
good perspective.

* 'well' - we'll, 'presise' - precise

mezzie
7/21/2006 c1 270dustytiger
this is really good! it's very thought provoking, and very deep, excellent work, really, top notch... i have no idea what to say about this, i'm trying to make this one of those ho-hum reviews but... i don't know what to say about it other then it really makes you think about the soliders at war without being actaully anti or pro war it's just something to think about... wonderful! keep up the good work (sorry this took so long just have had a crazy last little while, better late then never!)
7/18/2006 c1 Isaac Hoffman
Beside the few notible spelling errors, the poem in of itself was...I liked it. Piece of advice; don't care. By that I mean take what it is inside you, more specificly the idea lodged in your brain, whatever made you to write this, and ride it out to the end. Plato always wanted people to "follow the argument wherever it leads." In poetry, you need to follow your poem wherever it leads. Like I said before, it was a good poem, but there is so much more to it if you take a hard second look at the piece. Take yourself out of first gear and follow the poem where it leads. You'll be surprised where you'll end up, kinda like Alice was when she tumbled down that rabbit hole, except this time the rabbit hole is in your head.
7/13/2006 c1 22BrokenandBeautiful
to true...good job. you captured the feeling well...it could be better but ya...nice job
7/12/2006 c1 3Lemon Sorbet
This is brilliant; it shows real insight and understanding. I particularly ilke the ending "Wooden clothed "Men" are stacked in equally precise lines, relieved of their duty, able to rest". Keep it up! Lemonsausagex

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