7/14/2006 c1 3One-of-the-others-2
First off, I liked the whole plot. You need to go thorough and make some spelling and grammar corrections. It would also be good if their meeting and what happens after the coma was a little more defined. Also, I don't think Crystal having a baby is the way to end this story. Overall, I liked it, but i would like to see the whole story strengthed.
First off, I liked the whole plot. You need to go thorough and make some spelling and grammar corrections. It would also be good if their meeting and what happens after the coma was a little more defined. Also, I don't think Crystal having a baby is the way to end this story. Overall, I liked it, but i would like to see the whole story strengthed.
7/14/2006 c1 YuLian
cute story! but, it kinda needs more detail and please fix your grammar mistakes and capitalization stuff. okay?
-YuLian
cute story! but, it kinda needs more detail and please fix your grammar mistakes and capitalization stuff. okay?
-YuLian