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10/3/2006 c1 Zerlin Vince
I really enjoyed it. It's simple yet very true. I loved reading it and can't wait to read the rest. I'm not big into poetry but I also do know what I like. I like this one.
7/29/2006 c1 23Contender
Honestly, this seems written around the rhyme scheme, as opposed to with it. In other words, the rhyming sounds forced, instead of it rhyming, but not having to... how it's set up doesn't make too much sense if you don't consider the rhyme scheme, and that's not too good. Then again, wandering thoughts can sometimes go from one story to another as well. But things that prick and stick don't fit in unless to rhyme. And you could do more to put an image in the reader's head, as opposed to simply listing things arte memories of yours and happen to rhyme.

This is a really good idea, but could use some work. I'm guessing it was written quickly when you were feeling sentimental, and maybe it doesn't have to be any better, because it means what it does to you, and that's what matters. I dunno.

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