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10/4/2006 c1 Delete Account Please
Ew, I love this far too much. I find there are too many things I like to write them all down, so, I won't. Probably my favorite aspect is that she is self-conscious of her problem(s). I also love parents who ignore their children's problems.
10/1/2006 c1 17Galleena
It's great, it really is but I think maybe this sentence may have put readers off a bit:

Her hair was completely limp and gravity pulled it down without finding resistance into a thin curtain that cut off her head and neck from the world.

It's a bit too long and I found it almost incomprehensible on the first read. other than that I thought your images were highly effective. I want to shake her and tell the girl to cop onto herself. At the same time I felt really sad about her plight, why can't she see what's she's doing to herself?
7/22/2006 c1 10back row dancer
The first paragraph reminds me of "Hold on Magnolia" by Jason Molina. I like this and how it's so descriptive but then it turns out it was just a dream.

Thank you for the review on my "Black and White Paintings", but it was a Choka in Haiku form. I trust you know what a Haiku is, but most people don't know what Chokas are. A Choka is composed of at least two 5-7 lines with a 5-7-7 at the end of that. However, thank you for your critique, it was well rounded. Good job (on the story and on the review).
7/21/2006 c1 Remei Bargeld
An unusual piece, nice and vague, it suggests many things but leaves it open to interpretation.I especially liked "gravity pulled it down without finding resistance into a thin curtain that cut off her head and neck from the world". Gives a sense of how morbid or awful she seems to feel.
7/21/2006 c1 48chocohound
Creepily, deliciously great! I loved the undertone;the real issue in the story. You did a great job writing in the abstract point of view.

I read it through three times, so it's going in my favorites!

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