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6/28/2012 c14 Guest
6/26/2012 c14 Brightyellow
Amazing. Amazing. Just amazing.

You have a great plot. Great problems and a good mystery along with it. I love your protagonist and her fellow friends. I like the drama. I have no complaints!
8/18/2011 c14 4notjustink
Holy crap. Your story is wonderful and addictive and scary. Steve/ Michael needs to freaking die already. And Kyla... oh man. I want Corey to push her out of the plane. So yeah. Keep it up!
4/1/2008 c13 a beginner
i hope this goes on...

and on...

and on...

how many chapters r u intending to make?

good idea...
12/17/2007 c13 SuperCUTEJensen
ive just read yo9ur whole story...i love it...cant wait to see what happens next...hope you update soon!
11/6/2007 c13 3JustSomeGirl07
Wow this chapter was exciting but shorter than the others, I wonder if kyla jumped on purpose, sounds crazy right haha.

excellent chapter. keep going !


10/8/2007 c13 4January Skies
Awesome story! Can't wait for the rest.
10/8/2007 c13 nashgurl
holy crap that was an intense chapter. it feels os weird that this story is coming to an end. 3 YEARS OF PAIN! no just joking. this has been a fantastic ride and you better do just as excellent with the rest of your stories.

ok comments and critisism: firstly, your tendancy to write two lines after two lines gets a bit confusing after a while and i find myself skipping entire sentences. try to merge them into paragraphs so they flow better or you could just write more.

also some phrases, particularly around the fight scene, are a little awkward and they seem to be almost repetative. so try to read them out loud to make sure they click together.

so, the fight scene: loved it. especially mia's little monologue, its so good to see her fighting back and showing some spunk for once in her life.

i think you're doing a very good job with kyla, the way you make her one of those people who you just cant see their perspective of the situation. she is convincingly maddening. if that was the effect you were going for of course!

well ta ta for now and thanks a million for the update! you rock.

happy thanksgiving!
10/8/2007 c13 19jekodama
This reminds me of a Mexican authoress called Delia Fiallo. She makes her characters suffer LOADS of stuff, but in a so unpredictable sequence that it's hilarious. Kyla's fall made me laugh a lot, although I imagine that's not what you intended with that scene, but I couldn't help it! XD

I suggest you to go through the chapter and fix the dialogue sequences. There are parts where you get confused, like this one:

"“Save it.” She snapped. “Don’t give me that I’m-so-innocent act you throw at everyone. It’s pathetic, and frankly, I’m tired of pretending it’s true.”Something flickered inside Mia’s chest, an echo of something she’d felt with Corey’s words. It seemed to rise, grow with every vicious look sent her way. “I’m not throwing you any act. I’m apologizing and you don’t seem to be getting the hint.” Mia snapped back. There was a fault line in her chest threatening to crack, quivering with controlled emotion. Kyla tipped her head back and gave a short, humourless laugh."

There you mixed two different people talking in one same paragraph. I think you should use different paragraphs for each person involved in the conversation.

Until the next review!
6/27/2007 c12 1JemKay
cool story!
6/27/2007 c12 3JustSomeGirl07
*intrigued* omg ! what happens next? what happens next ?

i cant wait for the rest :)

6/27/2007 c6 JustSomeGirl07
hiya, i've actually just found your story on fiction press i just finished chapter 6 and im absolutly obsessed with this story its great :) well anyways im going to keep reading untill i catch up :D

just wanted to let you know that you are a great writer. and thanks for posting this.

well done !
6/23/2007 c12 19ihrtbks
Onw word...WOW! You spin your tales so well it's crazy! You got a(now dead)criminal, a jealous teenage girl, two 'hormonal' teenagers, and a tribe of natives who worship a bird. Then you mix in a way to get off that only fits two.

6/23/2007 c12 nashgurl








btw congratulations on your kissing scene, i knew you could do it! :D
6/23/2007 c12 kayttea
Aw wow. 0.0 flares and a sea plane. well, hopefully that plane works, or someone saw those flares right? :) poor Kyla...and Mia... o! they could like send someone back for the third person, they could. um yeah, anyways. update! and I'm glad the evil guy got killed. XD
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