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7/22/2006 c1 80gitana
The formatting reminds me of a mellowed-out ee cummings. I quite like most of this, though I think there might be something a little off about the rhythm of the first stanza. The line breaks are just a little awkward. "oh. oh. oh. oh. / but aren't the daises / just so bloody/pretty?" Aside from the minor misspelling (daisies, not daises, unless you were referring to more than one dais, which I somehow doubt), these three lines definitely rank amongst the best I've read here on FicPress!

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