for Tsubasa Reverse7/27/2006 c1 
2miss understanding
I like your style. It's descriptive without tacking on a whole lot of pointless details that aren't important. You maintain a delicate balance here, which I like.
Dialogue flows smoothly, and matches with the characters' rank and upbringing. Although, so far they all appear to be upper-class and educated, so I suppose I'll have to reevaluate after I see some peasants talk. ^_~
I like the names, too. I, personally, am quite bad at making up names. Felimgrad sticks out and you can tell it's completely original.
Well, ciao for now!
xchoco
2miss understandingI like your style. It's descriptive without tacking on a whole lot of pointless details that aren't important. You maintain a delicate balance here, which I like.
Dialogue flows smoothly, and matches with the characters' rank and upbringing. Although, so far they all appear to be upper-class and educated, so I suppose I'll have to reevaluate after I see some peasants talk. ^_~
I like the names, too. I, personally, am quite bad at making up names. Felimgrad sticks out and you can tell it's completely original.
Well, ciao for now!
xchoco
7/24/2006 c1 3Adaku
Hm...well this is better than mine, that's for sure. Your made up names are really cool-nice work. Keep up the great work. Till next time
waterhealer
3AdakuHm...well this is better than mine, that's for sure. Your made up names are really cool-nice work. Keep up the great work. Till next time
waterhealer
7/23/2006 c1 8incandescente
i loved the surprise ending at the end. just who was the stranger? hope to know of it soon. :) however, do take note of juxtapositions in your writing; how can the soldiers' voices be clear when they're weeping? wouldn't their voices crack or something? do continue writing! :)
8incandescentei loved the surprise ending at the end. just who was the stranger? hope to know of it soon. :) however, do take note of juxtapositions in your writing; how can the soldiers' voices be clear when they're weeping? wouldn't their voices crack or something? do continue writing! :)