Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Long Stay

8/4/2006 c1 7The Breakdancing Ninja
The Breakdancing Ninja gives “Long Stay” a 4 out of 5 for simplicity and clarity, which is more than he could ask for from anybody. He enjoyed the read, except he was really peeved by the “la la la” part. It wracked his brain. Otherwise, he found the message to be uplifting, which is more than he could say about some of the other works by Monochrome Lovers. Which made him cry. But don’t laugh. He’ll roundhouse kick you in the face. Refer to the criticism below for more details.

The object (or person spoken of) in the poem seems to me a hopeful, optimistic idealist… but at the same time, he or she is a person who isn’t practical or down-to-earth. The feeling I get from this person the speaker talks of is that they’ve probably experienced more disappointment than “happy endings”. The poem suggests a few reasons for this person’s unhappiness. Let’s talk about it. –leads reader to a couch for crazy people—er, patients.- Sit down.

Reasons for disappointment:1) The person thinks “happy endings come naturally”. As if to say, there’s no reason to work for it, it’ll come if you wait. The speaker’s sentiment is anti-dreaming. The speaker says: “You can’t wait for a dream/ You’ll only get old/ Dreams are cruel like that”.

2) The speaker says of the person “You waited too long and shot too far/ It was the saddest sigh I ever heard”. I think of golf or pinball, but that’s beside the point. The more lenient people are with time and goals, the more their expectations and fears stretch. They end up working too hard, thinking too long, and hoping too much for a certain outcome (even with silly stuff like golf or playing pinball) that the disappointment that comes from losing—or more correctly, ‘missing out’ is large and almost unbearable.

3) “You and your uncertainties/ What are you trying to prove?” It seems to me that this speaker is possibly suggesting that… The person he or she is referring to isn’t as confident or as hopeful—it’s not faith that makes them say those optimistic things, it’s really because they’re fearful of an outcome. And the speaker goes on to saw that something isn’t complete until the last piece is in place—that is to say, unless everything is in place, you can’t really call it an outcome or an ending. You can’t stop –at THIS certain point- just because it’s convenient—you must see things through to the end.

The speaker’s suggestion on how to handle optimism and prevent getting too old and being fooled by a long-dreamed dream turned illusion is very simple: “if you reach out to your dream in the darkness/You can feel its warmth not too far away”.

It’s something you have to work toward. You actively have to work hard.

Okay, that all might have been totally off, but… The song was possibly the hardest part to figure out or even try and suggest what its abstract form means, especially since it’s recurring—except it is missing one beat the second and third time it comes. Whether it is subconscious that one “la” is missing second and third time around, the suggestion is that—singing and hoping and dreaming can put you out of breath faster than it takes to live the actual dream. Or the poem is suggesting that wishful thinking can only last so long. The feeling of not being able to sing is almost a loss of freedom—but more importantly, a loss of spirit or vitality. This happens to people who experience a lot of disappointment.

In afterthought, it could just be something as innocent as the speaker recalling the song and having one too many beats, and the second and third time after that, the song is corrected and has more consistency to it. But I’ll stick to my first suggestion, because it seems to be the bigger party pooper. Hahaha

The person that the speaker is talking about is charming, but a bit naïve and superficial: “You picked out what looked best/ And wore it out tonight with a grin”. It’s how we greet everything that comes our way, right? With a smile and in our best attire. The speaker doesn’t seem to mind how silly the person he or she is talking about is. The speaker seems to have a sort of endearment—the words aren’t really harsh, and the tone is playful. It’s most evident in this stanza: “The tips of my fingers fidget/ And a cold current runs down my back/ The song that you talked about/ Was this its sound?” The tingle that comes from a good or haunting song, or good or haunting love is a cold sensation that makes a person fidget. The last two lines suggest playful conversation, as if the speaker is singing or humming this song as they go for a stroll, or they’re sitting down somewhere while the speaker tries to recall the song.

What I wonder is if this person that the speaker is talking about—if this person has ever experienced any real disappointment. Or maybe it’s just that, they’ve spent so much time waiting for things to happen that nothing –has- ever happened to them, which would of course give a person a lot of time to dwindle.

“Long Stay” is a strange title for this. Then again, all your work so far has had strange titles, except for, well, “Hangman”. Hahaha I hope you enjoy my weird title explications—because you might really like this one. “Long Stay” might refer to the dreamer staying in a dream. They are trapped in a darkness that is self-made, ignorant and unrealistic. The feeling of warmth that the speaker suggests a dream feels like, shows that “warmth” is something vital, as opposed to “darkness” which is a vast expanse of nothing. To stay very, very long in this darkness is to isolate oneself, even to the point where the concept of time disappears. But the speaker is right. “You can’t wait—or, you can’t stay here forever—you’ll only get old”, because yeah: “Dreams are cruel like that”.

Rock on, Monochrome Lovers!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service