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for late night knights

8/2/2007 c1 12Dehydrated Hyena
I like the way the rhythm moves and changes. I like where you break the lines. I like the self-effacing high school thing. Well done.
9/7/2006 c1 70elvenstorm
Beautifully cynical. Love the highschool fantasy aspect to this, it's such a powerfully sad but true piece. The lsat line especially makes its point. Well done x
8/10/2006 c1 13shutupcharlotte
"who’s" should be whose. (sorry i'm a grammar nazi =])

but i really like the sort of crazy, stream of conciousness, descriptive style you've got going here.

reminds me of allen ginsberg, & that's a good thing. keep up the good work! =]
8/7/2006 c1 65Aquafied
hm, this seems like homecoming is in such a faraway statei like it, dont follow the seasons!

anyhow, high school boys are not really that attractive
8/6/2006 c1 73Jezsh
Yay! New stuff!(sorry, I didn't mean to guilt trip you!)

My favourite part is the ending, makes the narrator seem much more grown up than the situation which I think is interesting. One suggestion I'd offer is for the beginning bit to have shorter sentences, kind of got lost. I love how glittery it seems, very superficial and floaty, faux glamorous. Gorgeous imagery as per usual!*happy*
7/29/2006 c1 88multiples of six
Oh. My. God. New? New from star-shaped scars? I've been waiting for this. And it is so.. so so so good. I swear? It was frikkin intense, okay?

(you make love to me with that crown on,/and when it topples off your head, you/flash a feral grin and call me bad luck).


you may be the romantic anti-hero in my/innermost secret bedroom dream dramas,


K, I'm sounding a bit too enthusiastic. But hey, YAY for broken hiatus. Woohoo for you!
7/28/2006 c1 189oxytocin
This is absolutely amazing. SUCH a good poem. I can't think of any critiscism, because really all it was was a swirl of good writing, imagery, brilliant concepts and all of the poetic tricks in the book. I don't know what to say. Apart from WO FAVOURITES!

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