for late night knights8/2/2007 c1 
12Dehydrated Hyena
I like the way the rhythm moves and changes. I like where you break the lines. I like the self-effacing high school thing. Well done.
12Dehydrated HyenaI like the way the rhythm moves and changes. I like where you break the lines. I like the self-effacing high school thing. Well done.
9/7/2006 c1 70elvenstorm
Beautifully cynical. Love the highschool fantasy aspect to this, it's such a powerfully sad but true piece. The lsat line especially makes its point. Well done x
70elvenstormBeautifully cynical. Love the highschool fantasy aspect to this, it's such a powerfully sad but true piece. The lsat line especially makes its point. Well done x
8/10/2006 c1 13shutupcharlotte
"who’s" should be whose. (sorry i'm a grammar nazi =])
but i really like the sort of crazy, stream of conciousness, descriptive style you've got going here.
reminds me of allen ginsberg, & that's a good thing. keep up the good work! =]
13shutupcharlotte"who’s" should be whose. (sorry i'm a grammar nazi =])
but i really like the sort of crazy, stream of conciousness, descriptive style you've got going here.
reminds me of allen ginsberg, & that's a good thing. keep up the good work! =]
8/7/2006 c1 65Aquafied
hm, this seems like homecoming is in such a faraway statei like it, dont follow the seasons!
anyhow, high school boys are not really that attractive
65Aquafiedhm, this seems like homecoming is in such a faraway statei like it, dont follow the seasons!
anyhow, high school boys are not really that attractive
8/6/2006 c1 73Jezsh
Yay! New stuff!(sorry, I didn't mean to guilt trip you!)
My favourite part is the ending, makes the narrator seem much more grown up than the situation which I think is interesting. One suggestion I'd offer is for the beginning bit to have shorter sentences, kind of got lost. I love how glittery it seems, very superficial and floaty, faux glamorous. Gorgeous imagery as per usual!*happy*
73JezshYay! New stuff!(sorry, I didn't mean to guilt trip you!)
My favourite part is the ending, makes the narrator seem much more grown up than the situation which I think is interesting. One suggestion I'd offer is for the beginning bit to have shorter sentences, kind of got lost. I love how glittery it seems, very superficial and floaty, faux glamorous. Gorgeous imagery as per usual!*happy*
7/29/2006 c1 88multiples of six
Oh. My. God. New? New from star-shaped scars? I've been waiting for this. And it is so.. so so so good. I swear? It was frikkin intense, okay?
(you make love to me with that crown on,/and when it topples off your head, you/flash a feral grin and call me bad luck).
GOD.
you may be the romantic anti-hero in my/innermost secret bedroom dream dramas,
JESUS.
K, I'm sounding a bit too enthusiastic. But hey, YAY for broken hiatus. Woohoo for you!
88multiples of sixOh. My. God. New? New from star-shaped scars? I've been waiting for this. And it is so.. so so so good. I swear? It was frikkin intense, okay?
(you make love to me with that crown on,/and when it topples off your head, you/flash a feral grin and call me bad luck).
GOD.
you may be the romantic anti-hero in my/innermost secret bedroom dream dramas,
JESUS.
K, I'm sounding a bit too enthusiastic. But hey, YAY for broken hiatus. Woohoo for you!