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1/4/2008 c1 19Raleven
This has great rhythm and flows wonderfully! I think the only thing that I caught is "I'm here not other there" is other supposed to be over? Other than that I don't think there are any errors in this. I like how the ending is almost ironic, because she has to comfort him and tell him that it's okay that he ripped out and stomped on her heart. Irony is awesome.
8/4/2006 c1 15x-kit-x
Aw wow that was really great, I definately felt a sense of rhythm as I read it which was good although I did notice an error(I think).

"Look at me you idiotIā€™m here not other there" Should it say over?
7/28/2006 c1 90Dragonzz
"No second chancesFor without you, I can live"

Love those lines. Awesome! It sorta reminds me of a poem I wrote awhile ago called 'emotionally killing me'

I love how it flows. awesomely written


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