for Like Beethoven and Dreams1/14/2008 c1 Halcyon Impulsion
The first stanza is wonderful. The second stanza starts out a little weakly-the first 2 lines seem too pat. The third stanza... I would avoid pairing red with courage because it's such a common connection. Love stanza 4, staza 5 is strong with good repition. I'm not nuts about the short stanzas standing alone that come after that. They've got good words, I just think I'd stick 6 & 7 together maybe and leave only 8 on it's own at the end there. Good, solid, work.
The first stanza is wonderful. The second stanza starts out a little weakly-the first 2 lines seem too pat. The third stanza... I would avoid pairing red with courage because it's such a common connection. Love stanza 4, staza 5 is strong with good repition. I'm not nuts about the short stanzas standing alone that come after that. They've got good words, I just think I'd stick 6 & 7 together maybe and leave only 8 on it's own at the end there. Good, solid, work.
8/7/2006 c1 
65Aquafied
a black cathas a paw in this,my abstractparadise.-thats an interesting image
reminds me of barnyards
65Aquafieda black cathas a paw in this,my abstractparadise.-thats an interesting image
reminds me of barnyards
8/5/2006 c1 63elasticbobaturtle
Mm, this piece sound so...wise, for some reason. I can't exactly pinpoint why. But once again, your description and use of color to create images is just so effortless. Wonderful.
63elasticbobaturtleMm, this piece sound so...wise, for some reason. I can't exactly pinpoint why. But once again, your description and use of color to create images is just so effortless. Wonderful.
8/5/2006 c1 34Smoky Bear
kailedescopic, insightful and lovely. making beethoven synonymous with dreams is an explosion of hopeful imagery, then comes the dark, macabre turn with the circling buzzards. the contrast is strangely lifelike. yep, cats see and know everything.
34Smoky Bearkailedescopic, insightful and lovely. making beethoven synonymous with dreams is an explosion of hopeful imagery, then comes the dark, macabre turn with the circling buzzards. the contrast is strangely lifelike. yep, cats see and know everything.
8/3/2006 c1 134emeraude-irlandais
I'm a huge proponent of using colors to express a point, and something about "drown all fears/ in red for courage" made me shiver. My only comment is the line break in "and all the swirling background/music..." is awkward. As usual, beautiful. `~bella~`
134emeraude-irlandaisI'm a huge proponent of using colors to express a point, and something about "drown all fears/ in red for courage" made me shiver. My only comment is the line break in "and all the swirling background/music..." is awkward. As usual, beautiful. `~bella~`
8/3/2006 c1 36trash can art
You know, I could almost hear the ninth symphony playing in the background as I read this. Nice job circling back the black cat, by the way. Also sent shivers down my spine. :sheepish grin:
36trash can artYou know, I could almost hear the ninth symphony playing in the background as I read this. Nice job circling back the black cat, by the way. Also sent shivers down my spine. :sheepish grin: