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for The Death Of Conservatism

10/11/2006 c1 Paisley
i loved the morbid-ness of the poem, id never be able to write something like that
8/6/2006 c1 20Elenive
Good point, but the opening set of sentences, I think, could be better. It doesn't get until about here: "Too afraid to kiss, for fear of being rejected, Too afraid to touch, for fear of being burnt. Too afraid to leave the sanctuary of your castle, for fear of being hurt. Too afraid to grab what it is that you want, you waste away in the caves of your own making," that it gets really interesting. I understand the theme of your poem, I just feel that there are more powerful ways of expressing it.

I really liked those lines that I quoted, though. And I'm not saying I didn't like the poem; I just think it could be improved.

~Elenive
8/6/2006 c1 65dancingintherain
realistic perspective and a good point to make! it's easy to say, only difficult advice to follow...good job at the poem!

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