for Tenshi no Tsubasa6/7/2007 c5 H i b o u P i e
i like it! wow! its so interesting and playful...*don't mind me i had candy before... candy + missa = retardo magnifico, not a good combination*
AGK! i just started reading this and already i see the publishing date was from last year (2006). UPDATE! *booming voice. you presume its god's but its really missa's in a microphone*
Ack! hurry. i wanna read the next instalment! ACK! HURRY! MY SANITY IS ON THE LINE HERE LADY!
i like it! wow! its so interesting and playful...*don't mind me i had candy before... candy + missa = retardo magnifico, not a good combination*
AGK! i just started reading this and already i see the publishing date was from last year (2006). UPDATE! *booming voice. you presume its god's but its really missa's in a microphone*
Ack! hurry. i wanna read the next instalment! ACK! HURRY! MY SANITY IS ON THE LINE HERE LADY!
10/20/2006 c5 
9rvtolentino
hmm. very Christian story. though the image of Delaine shooting Tsubasa to heal him won't go away from my mind.
"Heal!" *shoots Tsubasa*
"aw that hurt you idiot! wtf r u doing?"
"healing yoU!"
"you shot me!"
lol, like that.
nice chapter, a bit of an explanation here and there. don't tell me these weapons are named after the Seven Virtues?
anyway update soon! i really want to know what happens next; this is an excellent piece of work.
~DD
9rvtolentinohmm. very Christian story. though the image of Delaine shooting Tsubasa to heal him won't go away from my mind.
"Heal!" *shoots Tsubasa*
"aw that hurt you idiot! wtf r u doing?"
"healing yoU!"
"you shot me!"
lol, like that.
nice chapter, a bit of an explanation here and there. don't tell me these weapons are named after the Seven Virtues?
anyway update soon! i really want to know what happens next; this is an excellent piece of work.
~DD
10/20/2006 c4 rvtolentino
hey, i'm back.
"Diyos ko" is a bit overused now. or it could just be me.
explosive battle scene and /very/ good interaction of Tsubasa and Delaine. nothing much to say as i have nothing to complain about... this story is teh bomb. i'll be reading up the last chapter.
and hey, update this, will you?
~DD
hey, i'm back.
"Diyos ko" is a bit overused now. or it could just be me.
explosive battle scene and /very/ good interaction of Tsubasa and Delaine. nothing much to say as i have nothing to complain about... this story is teh bomb. i'll be reading up the last chapter.
and hey, update this, will you?
~DD
10/19/2006 c3 rvtolentino
oh, yeah, i forgot to tell you this before, but the set-up of the story seems a bit like Blood+ and Shakugan no Shana. well, the monsters are like Chiropterans, and Tsubasa able to revert a broken battlefield to what they were before seemed very like Shana.
okay, i'm back for chapter 3.
lemme guess. the voice on the alarm clock was... squeaky and high-pitched. also, the camera was focused on anything but Aya. i guess we both know anime conventions on screenplay.
lol. you know i imagined Aya with circular blush marks on her cheek, an SD form and spouting "Umai~~" when i read that part where she was eating. again, another anime convention.
more anime references, but at least they didn't seem to be forced. hmm, i like where this one is going; maybe a school battle or something. also, and i have to ask this, are you a fansubber? lol. i just find it funny that most of your character speeches look like they were taken straight from a fansub and written here. not that you were plagiarizing; actually i find it, uh, enjoyable.
keep updating~!
the dog is cute, even if i don't really see him.
until next time!
~DD
oh, yeah, i forgot to tell you this before, but the set-up of the story seems a bit like Blood+ and Shakugan no Shana. well, the monsters are like Chiropterans, and Tsubasa able to revert a broken battlefield to what they were before seemed very like Shana.
okay, i'm back for chapter 3.
lemme guess. the voice on the alarm clock was... squeaky and high-pitched. also, the camera was focused on anything but Aya. i guess we both know anime conventions on screenplay.
lol. you know i imagined Aya with circular blush marks on her cheek, an SD form and spouting "Umai~~" when i read that part where she was eating. again, another anime convention.
more anime references, but at least they didn't seem to be forced. hmm, i like where this one is going; maybe a school battle or something. also, and i have to ask this, are you a fansubber? lol. i just find it funny that most of your character speeches look like they were taken straight from a fansub and written here. not that you were plagiarizing; actually i find it, uh, enjoyable.
keep updating~!
the dog is cute, even if i don't really see him.
until next time!
~DD
10/19/2006 c2 rvtolentino
ZOMFG! another Filipino. okay. because there was nothing in the first chapter aside from the opening theme (LOL, i like that song), imma gonna start with this chapter up to your latest, and i'll review as i go along. i hope you don't mind an honest critique!
"Diyos ko..." ZOMFG! okay. i'll stop now. it's kinda rare to see Filipino elements integrated into an English story (which of course would have some Japanese elements, as this is manga).
actually, Delaine's hair might actually be considered as a "cosplayer's hair", if you know what i mean. cosplay people dye or wear multi-hued wigs during cons, if you're one. and emerald green, at that. the only way a Filipino could have eyes not brown or black was if he/she had a foreigner's blood during the previous generation (mother or father).
and oh... they relocated to Japan. lucky them. and Tokyo, at that! are the Umalis that well-off?
Delaine referred to the girl as "Nae-san", by her first name. shouldn't that be "Hasegawa-san" instead, as they had just met each other? or is it different for girls? but it's kinda cute though, "Nae-san" is close to "'nee-san" so... um, yeah.
i want to be a devil beside Delaine. and when Nae said it was a wonder that a foreigner could speak their language fluently, i'll just make a cynical comment: "Yeah, blame it on anime, J-pop, and fansubs. Yeah". LOL. and don't tell me it's not. but i imagine Nae and her father won't like that one bit; Japanese, except from a select few, generally frown on otakudom.
lol, "Mabuhay". damn. maybe he learned it from the influx of Filipino workers in Japan... and you know what i mean. as for the Filipino greeting, i had to give you a small anecdote (this is a review, i know, but what the heck). an international MMOG i played once asked in the general chat channel: "Is "Pinoy" like "Aloha" in Tagalog?" i lol'd! maybe it's because he's like reading Filipinos saying in the channel, "Oi, Pinoy ka?" "Yes!" so he kinda thought 'pinoy' was like a greeting or something. lol. ahem. back to the story.
WHOAH! cool~ Tsubasa, huh. and that sword. damn. teenager-coolness getting to me again. er, anime-coolness. one of those very, very few instances that i was like, "amp... astig" in my computer seat. usually i reserve that when i watch a show, but you made me do it while reading. you're mean. but hey, why the heck did Tsubasa not, uh, remove Delaine's memories?
aw. i sense a pairing already. if this was an anime and it's the first episode, sites would have gone up like mushrooms with a thousand pairings, Tsubasa X Delaine chief among them. maybe even Tsubasa X Lalaine, or Tsubasa X Nae (never mind the fact that they haven't even talked to one another), or for the kinkier people Nae X Delaine or Nae X Mahito. lol. the possibilities are endless so don't get me started.
added to my favorite stories list, author alert list, and story alert list!
i'll just go eat something and then i'll read up again. you had me hooked.
~DD
PS update this soon, please? and oh, on a side note, i have a story titled "Tsubasa" as well, and it's a mix of high fantasy and manga. i dunno if it's your cup of tea, but if you can review, wow, i'd be honored, after all, magkababayan tayo! XD
ZOMFG! another Filipino. okay. because there was nothing in the first chapter aside from the opening theme (LOL, i like that song), imma gonna start with this chapter up to your latest, and i'll review as i go along. i hope you don't mind an honest critique!
"Diyos ko..." ZOMFG! okay. i'll stop now. it's kinda rare to see Filipino elements integrated into an English story (which of course would have some Japanese elements, as this is manga).
actually, Delaine's hair might actually be considered as a "cosplayer's hair", if you know what i mean. cosplay people dye or wear multi-hued wigs during cons, if you're one. and emerald green, at that. the only way a Filipino could have eyes not brown or black was if he/she had a foreigner's blood during the previous generation (mother or father).
and oh... they relocated to Japan. lucky them. and Tokyo, at that! are the Umalis that well-off?
Delaine referred to the girl as "Nae-san", by her first name. shouldn't that be "Hasegawa-san" instead, as they had just met each other? or is it different for girls? but it's kinda cute though, "Nae-san" is close to "'nee-san" so... um, yeah.
i want to be a devil beside Delaine. and when Nae said it was a wonder that a foreigner could speak their language fluently, i'll just make a cynical comment: "Yeah, blame it on anime, J-pop, and fansubs. Yeah". LOL. and don't tell me it's not. but i imagine Nae and her father won't like that one bit; Japanese, except from a select few, generally frown on otakudom.
lol, "Mabuhay". damn. maybe he learned it from the influx of Filipino workers in Japan... and you know what i mean. as for the Filipino greeting, i had to give you a small anecdote (this is a review, i know, but what the heck). an international MMOG i played once asked in the general chat channel: "Is "Pinoy" like "Aloha" in Tagalog?" i lol'd! maybe it's because he's like reading Filipinos saying in the channel, "Oi, Pinoy ka?" "Yes!" so he kinda thought 'pinoy' was like a greeting or something. lol. ahem. back to the story.
WHOAH! cool~ Tsubasa, huh. and that sword. damn. teenager-coolness getting to me again. er, anime-coolness. one of those very, very few instances that i was like, "amp... astig" in my computer seat. usually i reserve that when i watch a show, but you made me do it while reading. you're mean. but hey, why the heck did Tsubasa not, uh, remove Delaine's memories?
aw. i sense a pairing already. if this was an anime and it's the first episode, sites would have gone up like mushrooms with a thousand pairings, Tsubasa X Delaine chief among them. maybe even Tsubasa X Lalaine, or Tsubasa X Nae (never mind the fact that they haven't even talked to one another), or for the kinkier people Nae X Delaine or Nae X Mahito. lol. the possibilities are endless so don't get me started.
added to my favorite stories list, author alert list, and story alert list!
i'll just go eat something and then i'll read up again. you had me hooked.
~DD
PS update this soon, please? and oh, on a side note, i have a story titled "Tsubasa" as well, and it's a mix of high fantasy and manga. i dunno if it's your cup of tea, but if you can review, wow, i'd be honored, after all, magkababayan tayo! XD
9/26/2006 c5 1Spirit Tigress
Yatta! I caught up! I'll read your other stories after MTs! This story is so cool!
BTW I redid some of the chapters in my story. You're back in my favs! Gomen-nasai for accidental removal!
1Spirit TigressYatta! I caught up! I'll read your other stories after MTs! This story is so cool!
BTW I redid some of the chapters in my story. You're back in my favs! Gomen-nasai for accidental removal!
9/26/2006 c3 Spirit Tigress
Tsubasa seems much more interesting and cool now! I hope what I think happened to the kids didn't happen to them. This was good, I'll try to read here more once midterms are over!
Tsubasa seems much more interesting and cool now! I hope what I think happened to the kids didn't happen to them. This was good, I'll try to read here more once midterms are over!
8/17/2006 c5 1KylaranAeldin
Hehehe. I like the story. I can't write comedies. I'm called eccentric and funny in real life, but all my stories turn out angst and horrible. XD
As for description, I'd be glad to give you an easy way to learn to describe with amazing detail - just RP with me. :P
AIM is CyalaRhynestone. Just contact me there. ^^
Anyways, I've got a story I just started writing too, and if you don't mind...?
Yoroshiku onegai itashimasu~
1KylaranAeldinHehehe. I like the story. I can't write comedies. I'm called eccentric and funny in real life, but all my stories turn out angst and horrible. XD
As for description, I'd be glad to give you an easy way to learn to describe with amazing detail - just RP with me. :P
AIM is CyalaRhynestone. Just contact me there. ^^
Anyways, I've got a story I just started writing too, and if you don't mind...?
Yoroshiku onegai itashimasu~
8/16/2006 c2 1Spirit Tigress
During the first part of the chapter I thought that someone was pregnant with the whole push thing. I'm glad Delaine made a friend in Tokyo. I liked how there was a fight so early in the story. I must find out more about Tsubasa.
1Spirit TigressDuring the first part of the chapter I thought that someone was pregnant with the whole push thing. I'm glad Delaine made a friend in Tokyo. I liked how there was a fight so early in the story. I must find out more about Tsubasa.
8/16/2006 c1 Spirit Tigress
This is really nice! I'm already liking this story now. Tsubasa no Tenshi sounds like the polar opposite of what I'm working on. (not on FP yet) I also thank you for reading my story!
This is really nice! I'm already liking this story now. Tsubasa no Tenshi sounds like the polar opposite of what I'm working on. (not on FP yet) I also thank you for reading my story!
8/13/2006 c4 1KylaranAeldin
I like it. Definitely showing your roots here. *Grins.* This might go somewhere.
Work on Tougenkyou! -Demands.- :P
Just as a side note, it's irasshai. The break is after the 'ra' syllable, and the sha syllable that comes after has a elongated s.
Not to be an old nagging wife or anything. You're a great writer, nonetheless. Oh, and just to up the ante a little, you could always use more description to desribe action scenes. Such as when Tsubasa is fighting the demon, you could always say:
Shifting his right foot, the boy raised his sword and braced himself. Then, suddenly shooting forward, his blade pointed straight at the demon as he pushed off the ground.
Etc. etc. But, I'm a roleplayer. You're a story writer. So description like that isn't as necessary as those demanding roleplayers are. :P
May your pen flow freely.~Ky
1KylaranAeldinI like it. Definitely showing your roots here. *Grins.* This might go somewhere.
Work on Tougenkyou! -Demands.- :P
Just as a side note, it's irasshai. The break is after the 'ra' syllable, and the sha syllable that comes after has a elongated s.
Not to be an old nagging wife or anything. You're a great writer, nonetheless. Oh, and just to up the ante a little, you could always use more description to desribe action scenes. Such as when Tsubasa is fighting the demon, you could always say:
Shifting his right foot, the boy raised his sword and braced himself. Then, suddenly shooting forward, his blade pointed straight at the demon as he pushed off the ground.
Etc. etc. But, I'm a roleplayer. You're a story writer. So description like that isn't as necessary as those demanding roleplayers are. :P
May your pen flow freely.~Ky
8/12/2006 c1 KylaranAeldin
Er. As a fifth year student of Japanese and a two-month ex-resident of Japan, Angel's Wings should be Tenshi no Tsubasa (Angel -possessive particle no- Wing(s)), I believe.
A no B means B belongs to A. Of course, Tsubasa no Tenshi does mean something (Wings of an Angel, or Angel called Wings [although that's an awkward way of putting it]). ((I'm not ganna go into verb no noun, because that would imply something different from noun no noun.))
Not that it matters too much right now. .; Since you already published it as that name. ANYWAYS onto the story.
Er. As a fifth year student of Japanese and a two-month ex-resident of Japan, Angel's Wings should be Tenshi no Tsubasa (Angel -possessive particle no- Wing(s)), I believe.
A no B means B belongs to A. Of course, Tsubasa no Tenshi does mean something (Wings of an Angel, or Angel called Wings [although that's an awkward way of putting it]). ((I'm not ganna go into verb no noun, because that would imply something different from noun no noun.))
Not that it matters too much right now. .; Since you already published it as that name. ANYWAYS onto the story.
8/10/2006 c4 WickedIceMaiden
haha, this story is lots of fun, and one can definatly tell that your playing around with it. Good work!
haha, this story is lots of fun, and one can definatly tell that your playing around with it. Good work!