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9/1/2006 c1 612simpleplan13
i liek the repition and the last two lines... beautifully done
8/16/2006 c1 6Nobody-n-Particular
Lovely repitition - beautiful.
8/9/2006 c1 243Manuel Fajar
an orange mango slice of sky for Thee,

sapote russet piece of breath for me,

entwined tropical flavors fresh from trees,

in sugar kisses would blend all life´s dreams,

into a spirit that would age with time,

releasing Dionysian fire and lust,

while Apollonian our minds remained,

floating on white that cotton clouds form from,-

so if there´s any draught that can soothe heart,

it surely comes from that embrace of moon,

when full it pulls up tides to touch the sky,

where coconut milk bathes mortal souls,

while flames ignite soft skin ´tween man and girl,

and love becomes the morn and evening star.

Santo Domingo 9Aug06

p.s. Thank you for your comments. I like your poem, it has something for everyone. manuel
8/8/2006 c1 14miu
very nice n_n when I read it I felt warmth aw it is really sweet!
8/8/2006 c1 80thatswrite
First of all, thanks for the reviews. =)

Second of all, I love this poem. I like that it doesn't have to rhyme to sound good. It sounds more like something you would really say. The repitition of "If it were up to me" is so romantic. And all of the mystical things are realistic in someone's daydreams... I can relate, at least.

Ah. I'm pretty sure this is going on my favorites list. =)

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