
10/21/2006 c1
1supergal
Hey,
I'm getting a good sense of fervor and anger in this chapter, but I think the dialogue is somewhat awkward(?) I think it's because of the grammatical mistakes, for example: 'Sometimes you’d be cold and others you’ll be warm!'. Just try and weave through out the chapter to weed out any grammar/spelling mistakes.
Keep writing!

Hey,
I'm getting a good sense of fervor and anger in this chapter, but I think the dialogue is somewhat awkward(?) I think it's because of the grammatical mistakes, for example: 'Sometimes you’d be cold and others you’ll be warm!'. Just try and weave through out the chapter to weed out any grammar/spelling mistakes.
Keep writing!
10/20/2006 c1
3DorKiyki
hey hil-billy? iunno since annie keeps calling tat..i guess i'll call u tat to then. aniways..great plot lol i got confused in the first chapter, buh dun worry i got. pretty sad though..buh that breden evermore is realli a jerk..no offense. aniways i'm so sry it took me so long to R&R if you loved me enough...cuz i'm not realli allowed to use the internet since my parents saw my mark on the interm report thingy..buh i think i can manage going on every once a week. aniways other that..yea.lol. read my new story Love me Kiss me. lol wen i was cleaning up my old books and stuff, i found this discontinued story. so i though i shud probably finish it up lol. and stop thinking i luv u wen i clearly don't T_T

hey hil-billy? iunno since annie keeps calling tat..i guess i'll call u tat to then. aniways..great plot lol i got confused in the first chapter, buh dun worry i got. pretty sad though..buh that breden evermore is realli a jerk..no offense. aniways i'm so sry it took me so long to R&R if you loved me enough...cuz i'm not realli allowed to use the internet since my parents saw my mark on the interm report thingy..buh i think i can manage going on every once a week. aniways other that..yea.lol. read my new story Love me Kiss me. lol wen i was cleaning up my old books and stuff, i found this discontinued story. so i though i shud probably finish it up lol. and stop thinking i luv u wen i clearly don't T_T
10/18/2006 c16 xonea
really nice! but i've got to ask...wats the first chapter all about? i dun really get the first chapter!
=)
really nice! but i've got to ask...wats the first chapter all about? i dun really get the first chapter!
=)
10/18/2006 c16 ms.fuzzy
GOOD JOB! the story is really coming along. and its shaping up really well. keep up the good work!
GOOD JOB! the story is really coming along. and its shaping up really well. keep up the good work!
10/11/2006 c2 Jasmine
hello you i love your stories you should become a writer and ill buy all your books i rememeber this from you know what see how good of a memory i have of our friendship
hello you i love your stories you should become a writer and ill buy all your books i rememeber this from you know what see how good of a memory i have of our friendship
10/10/2006 c14
8Zenosknight
Al'ight, great work =Pmany questions were answered, more were asked, twists were straightened, nevertheless, good work

Al'ight, great work =Pmany questions were answered, more were asked, twists were straightened, nevertheless, good work
9/23/2006 c1 diana
hilly billy not sure if i reviewed yet so umm yeahh i really love your plot line im hooked! =) but your street slang is kinda funny you should get a guy to beta this story cause umm "dont freak your pants"? thats uhh not really *cough cough* you know like a popular term...=O but yeah i love your plots they're so interesting =) btw same with leanna sometimes her sentences sound a bit weird maybe you're trying too hard to make her sound prissy and uptight?
hilly billy not sure if i reviewed yet so umm yeahh i really love your plot line im hooked! =) but your street slang is kinda funny you should get a guy to beta this story cause umm "dont freak your pants"? thats uhh not really *cough cough* you know like a popular term...=O but yeah i love your plots they're so interesting =) btw same with leanna sometimes her sentences sound a bit weird maybe you're trying too hard to make her sound prissy and uptight?
9/22/2006 c1 Mashfia
interesting so far. cant wait to read the rest.
interesting so far. cant wait to read the rest.
9/20/2006 c11
8Zenosknight
Great job so far~You haven't updated in a while, but schools in, so it's understandable.Stories great, unexpected, creative, so I'll rate it about a 4-...so far =P

Great job so far~You haven't updated in a while, but schools in, so it's understandable.Stories great, unexpected, creative, so I'll rate it about a 4-...so far =P
8/15/2006 c1 thepersonthatlovestrumpets
lol long time since u wrote... but u still got the magical writing power =D the chapter is a lil bit confusing but ill read ur other chapters later to get it... keep up the good work!
lol long time since u wrote... but u still got the magical writing power =D the chapter is a lil bit confusing but ill read ur other chapters later to get it... keep up the good work!