for So Would the Lord Search Sorrow9/16/2006 c1 
13Jecai
Rendering what people look for.
'a/shattered line./A connection.' - Is it even possible to see the line, to 'watch clear-eyed'? My English teacher asked about Azar Nafisi's 'different views of a chair' analogy, asked if God could know what the chair really is.
Sometimes ideas seem to work for us, sometimes not.
13JecaiRendering what people look for.
'a/shattered line./A connection.' - Is it even possible to see the line, to 'watch clear-eyed'? My English teacher asked about Azar Nafisi's 'different views of a chair' analogy, asked if God could know what the chair really is.
Sometimes ideas seem to work for us, sometimes not.
8/25/2006 c1 10notACTUALLYwriting
abrupt. violent. and yet smooth.
and how the hell does ANYONE use "passeth" in a poem without sounding stupid? anyone who can do that is undeniably a genius. i'll be lucky to be half as good as you are.
10notACTUALLYwritingabrupt. violent. and yet smooth.
and how the hell does ANYONE use "passeth" in a poem without sounding stupid? anyone who can do that is undeniably a genius. i'll be lucky to be half as good as you are.
8/20/2006 c1 52godsandstars
you are seriously the most talented person i have ever read. this whole thing, it's amazing. the format, the words, everything. ,.jxflejaotij. let's get married. mexico?
52godsandstarsyou are seriously the most talented person i have ever read. this whole thing, it's amazing. the format, the words, everything. ,.jxflejaotij. let's get married. mexico?
8/20/2006 c1 hey maria
"inopprotune": should be inopportune.
I don't like the Old English bits very much - you know, doth, passeth, that sort of thing. It doesn't seem to fit. Maybe that was the point? In that case I don't get it.
But I liked the images you create in this - "midsummer sigh of the/milk and honey tone," "silk starry-eyed/evaluation," "the hand doth search for wet." It's all very pretty. The clipped, blunt lines are great too.
"inopprotune": should be inopportune.
I don't like the Old English bits very much - you know, doth, passeth, that sort of thing. It doesn't seem to fit. Maybe that was the point? In that case I don't get it.
But I liked the images you create in this - "midsummer sigh of the/milk and honey tone," "silk starry-eyed/evaluation," "the hand doth search for wet." It's all very pretty. The clipped, blunt lines are great too.
8/19/2006 c1 61the.pink.life
Hmm. I'm not sure what I think of the language in this piece. I'm not a huge fan of Old English language in poetry unless the poetry is from that time period. The short, choppy sentences are interesting, though. I like that style of writing. I can see where you're coming from with the Old English, though, because the poem's about religion, and if anything's going to be timeless, it's religion. Keep writing! :)
61the.pink.lifeHmm. I'm not sure what I think of the language in this piece. I'm not a huge fan of Old English language in poetry unless the poetry is from that time period. The short, choppy sentences are interesting, though. I like that style of writing. I can see where you're coming from with the Old English, though, because the poem's about religion, and if anything's going to be timeless, it's religion. Keep writing! :)
8/16/2006 c1 80citrus scented
Midsummer sigh of themilk and honey tone.Polished.
this is sharp, strange, mysterious, and slightly tragic...its good.
80citrus scentedMidsummer sigh of themilk and honey tone.Polished.
this is sharp, strange, mysterious, and slightly tragic...its good.
8/15/2006 c1 Little Couch
I'm going to be completely honest, I had trouble figuring out what this was about. But the descriptions and adjectives were awesome.
If I had a gold star, I'd give it to you. But, like, I don't. So...yeah.
I'm going to be completely honest, I had trouble figuring out what this was about. But the descriptions and adjectives were awesome.
If I had a gold star, I'd give it to you. But, like, I don't. So...yeah.