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for So Would the Lord Search Sorrow

9/17/2006 c1 612simpleplan13
nice, i really love that first stanza
9/16/2006 c1 13Jecai
Rendering what people look for.

'a/shattered line./A connection.' - Is it even possible to see the line, to 'watch clear-eyed'? My English teacher asked about Azar Nafisi's 'different views of a chair' analogy, asked if God could know what the chair really is.

Sometimes ideas seem to work for us, sometimes not.
8/25/2006 c1 10notACTUALLYwriting
abrupt. violent. and yet smooth.

and how the hell does ANYONE use "passeth" in a poem without sounding stupid? anyone who can do that is undeniably a genius. i'll be lucky to be half as good as you are.
8/20/2006 c1 52godsandstars
you are seriously the most talented person i have ever read. this whole thing, it's amazing. the format, the words, everything. ,.jxflejaotij. let's get married. mexico?
8/20/2006 c1 hey maria
"inopprotune": should be inopportune.

I don't like the Old English bits very much - you know, doth, passeth, that sort of thing. It doesn't seem to fit. Maybe that was the point? In that case I don't get it.

But I liked the images you create in this - "midsummer sigh of the/milk and honey tone," "silk starry-eyed/evaluation," "the hand doth search for wet." It's all very pretty. The clipped, blunt lines are great too.
8/19/2006 c1 61the.pink.life
Hmm. I'm not sure what I think of the language in this piece. I'm not a huge fan of Old English language in poetry unless the poetry is from that time period. The short, choppy sentences are interesting, though. I like that style of writing. I can see where you're coming from with the Old English, though, because the poem's about religion, and if anything's going to be timeless, it's religion. Keep writing! :)
8/16/2006 c1 80citrus scented
Midsummer sigh of themilk and honey tone.Polished.

this is sharp, strange, mysterious, and slightly tragic...its good.
8/16/2006 c1 6Nobody-n-Particular
Nice diction.
8/16/2006 c1 19The Temptation Of Amadeo
I like the whole feel of this poem.different. Beautiful.
8/15/2006 c1 Little Couch
I'm going to be completely honest, I had trouble figuring out what this was about. But the descriptions and adjectives were awesome.

If I had a gold star, I'd give it to you. But, like, I don't. So...yeah.

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