for Foolish Fire4/3/2007 c3 
2Call me Mars
Oh my! You never updated this story! ;_;
It's so good! I wish I could send you, right now, 25 reviews! This story is worth THOUSANDS of them!
Oh, please update soon!
2Call me MarsOh my! You never updated this story! ;_;
It's so good! I wish I could send you, right now, 25 reviews! This story is worth THOUSANDS of them!
Oh, please update soon!
9/8/2006 c3 icedfaerie
Great story you have here! I really like the plot and the characters, especially Charlotte! I seriously can't wait until the next chapter.
Great story you have here! I really like the plot and the characters, especially Charlotte! I seriously can't wait until the next chapter.
9/1/2006 c3 25V de V
Okay, I am back. This chapter is better. I think you are trying to limit the PhD-type language. I recognize that. But the plot is a bit slow. I suspect it is going somewhere with Sharlet and Nick ... Fine.
And .. concerning those books set in the 1790s, I can not imagine they are well researched in regard to people's names. I still feel they are out of place. But whatever. I will confess, however, I had some trouble with a guy I liked named Gabriel and involuntarily flinch whenever I see the word in print. Hahaha. But keep the names intact if you insist.
25V de VOkay, I am back. This chapter is better. I think you are trying to limit the PhD-type language. I recognize that. But the plot is a bit slow. I suspect it is going somewhere with Sharlet and Nick ... Fine.
And .. concerning those books set in the 1790s, I can not imagine they are well researched in regard to people's names. I still feel they are out of place. But whatever. I will confess, however, I had some trouble with a guy I liked named Gabriel and involuntarily flinch whenever I see the word in print. Hahaha. But keep the names intact if you insist.
9/1/2006 c3 7Iron Pyrate
This story *is* a bit harder to read because of the many large words, but everyone behaves so Properly that it shouldn't be written any differently. I love this story idea, it's kind of like a mix of The Taming of the Shrew and Pride and Prejudice with a dash of the Royal Navy. Cool! :-D
7Iron PyrateThis story *is* a bit harder to read because of the many large words, but everyone behaves so Properly that it shouldn't be written any differently. I love this story idea, it's kind of like a mix of The Taming of the Shrew and Pride and Prejudice with a dash of the Royal Navy. Cool! :-D
8/31/2006 c3 4Angelic Brunette Hermione
It amazes me how Charlotte's parents seem to lack a restraint on her. I'm also surprised that they haven't forced her into marriage yet.
But, I do love the scenes with witty Charlotte and helpless Nicholas!
ABH
4Angelic Brunette HermioneIt amazes me how Charlotte's parents seem to lack a restraint on her. I'm also surprised that they haven't forced her into marriage yet.
But, I do love the scenes with witty Charlotte and helpless Nicholas!
ABH
8/30/2006 c3 Michelle Habibi
good, good, good! i really do like this story so i hope you update soon!
-Michelle Habibi
good, good, good! i really do like this story so i hope you update soon!
-Michelle Habibi
8/26/2006 c2 Michelle Habibi
oh i wish charlotte had slapped nicholas or something but that, i think would've been too much. please update soon, i can't wait!
-Michelle Habibi
oh i wish charlotte had slapped nicholas or something but that, i think would've been too much. please update soon, i can't wait!
-Michelle Habibi
8/24/2006 c2 Ariana
I LOVE the second chapter! I can't wait for the next. I also really like your style of writing. I have not yet mastered (sufficiently anyway,) the "art" of 'Walking and Chewing Gum'. You connect your dialogue with your actions well. It flows. :)
I LOVE the second chapter! I can't wait for the next. I also really like your style of writing. I have not yet mastered (sufficiently anyway,) the "art" of 'Walking and Chewing Gum'. You connect your dialogue with your actions well. It flows. :)
8/24/2006 c2 Angelic Brunette Hermione
I'm really starting to L-O-V-E this story! I appreciate the toning-down on the vocab; not that I mind seeing advanced word-usage, of course . . .
ABH
I'm really starting to L-O-V-E this story! I appreciate the toning-down on the vocab; not that I mind seeing advanced word-usage, of course . . .
ABH
8/24/2006 c2 25V de V
Ugh, this is very tedious to read. Your choice of vocabulary hints at the naive writer who tries to impress the reader with language that is more complicated than it needs to be. It is not a matter of context clues to bring out the meanings of the said "hard" words, but a matter of style. You are not an Auston or a Dickens yet, so please do not try to pull it off with highfalutin language. You should try to be more concise and select easily-recognized synonyms to avoid repetition. Develop your characters instead of showing off how good your verbal skills are.
Also, put more history into this story. Do some research about the time period. I am already finding historical inaccuracies. Your piece takes place in Napoleonic France, right? Then why do your characters have biblical names? After the French Revolution, names like Gabriel and Isaac, were abandoned for the names of Roman heroes (Cornelia, Horatius, Tiberius) flowers (Hyacinth, Helianth, etc), and revolutionaries (Maximilian and his colleagues) ... So there is scope for much improvement.
25V de VUgh, this is very tedious to read. Your choice of vocabulary hints at the naive writer who tries to impress the reader with language that is more complicated than it needs to be. It is not a matter of context clues to bring out the meanings of the said "hard" words, but a matter of style. You are not an Auston or a Dickens yet, so please do not try to pull it off with highfalutin language. You should try to be more concise and select easily-recognized synonyms to avoid repetition. Develop your characters instead of showing off how good your verbal skills are.
Also, put more history into this story. Do some research about the time period. I am already finding historical inaccuracies. Your piece takes place in Napoleonic France, right? Then why do your characters have biblical names? After the French Revolution, names like Gabriel and Isaac, were abandoned for the names of Roman heroes (Cornelia, Horatius, Tiberius) flowers (Hyacinth, Helianth, etc), and revolutionaries (Maximilian and his colleagues) ... So there is scope for much improvement.
8/23/2006 c2 5Madison L
Oh, they're all so marvellously blunt! Of course, the stubborn blue-stocking character is becoming (sadly) stock these days, but you portray Charlotte with a certain freshness, most reviving.
I happen to find your use of language not only acceptable in it's variations, but suited and typical to the period in which you are writing. It suits the story well, and you've got fairly good mastery of it. Can't wait to read more.
5Madison LOh, they're all so marvellously blunt! Of course, the stubborn blue-stocking character is becoming (sadly) stock these days, but you portray Charlotte with a certain freshness, most reviving.
I happen to find your use of language not only acceptable in it's variations, but suited and typical to the period in which you are writing. It suits the story well, and you've got fairly good mastery of it. Can't wait to read more.
8/17/2006 c1 Ariana
This is great Jackaroe! But, I also think your story would do just fine without the all "Sesquipedalianism." :)
Not that lengthy words aren't okay to use (if they're what you need to express yourself clearly,) but for readers who don't have as wide of a vocabulary as you do, seeing words like expostulations, ripostes , senescent, etc, might leave the reader feeling a little alienated.
This is great Jackaroe! But, I also think your story would do just fine without the all "Sesquipedalianism." :)
Not that lengthy words aren't okay to use (if they're what you need to express yourself clearly,) but for readers who don't have as wide of a vocabulary as you do, seeing words like expostulations, ripostes , senescent, etc, might leave the reader feeling a little alienated.
8/16/2006 c1 4Angelic Brunette Hermione
Can't complain so far:
Spelling/Grammar and vocab. are flawless.Characterization is well-developed.Then, you've got the wow factor.
I'm curious to see how this turns out!
ABH
4Angelic Brunette HermioneCan't complain so far:
Spelling/Grammar and vocab. are flawless.Characterization is well-developed.Then, you've got the wow factor.
I'm curious to see how this turns out!
ABH