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for We Haven't Got Soul

8/26/2006 c1 879Moondog Dozier
This is a magnificent tribute to REAL music. I like how it's characterized in relation to what is thrust upon us by the music media masses. Great concept. Truth has been written here. Very relatable. Your recent reviews were great, made me laugh, just what I needed. Thanks. MD:77.
8/22/2006 c1 29Tori31
hey i really like this poem. i think it is really well written and flows great.

also i would like to tell you tghat i have taken the review you left me into account and made some changes where needed. in answer to your question i have had a great holiday thanks.
8/21/2006 c1 bipedalcooney
I really enjoyed this. Your rhythm is great. Definately keep writing. And thanks for the review you did for my poem, btw.
8/21/2006 c1 35TeaWithOnions
Wow. Wonderful piece. The rhythm is perfect and the message is so true.

Thanks for the review.
8/20/2006 c1 Halcyon Impulsion
I like it. Very social-political feeling... you've got some good lines in here - this is my favorite part:

Who’s to decide/the direction it spins;/how it sits as it gleams/on a hem, a collar, a sleeve.
8/19/2006 c1 thereisnothinghere
Oh my goodness! I really love this poem, and I love what it's about. Nice, fairly unique style for your poem. I hope you don't mind me giving you a little critique ... The only thing I felt was lacking was a meter, and only in a couple of places. Other than that, I really adore this poem.

Also, about your question on the thing you reviewed - It is a one-shot, but it's sort of a little side story from a major three novel project a friend and me are planning on doing. It's all high fantasy, and really detailed (maybe too confusing for even us, so it might not work out well ... we'll see!) But thank you for the review!
8/19/2006 c1 34Smoky Bear
i agree! this is a really enjoyable poem straight from the heart (or soul, lol). it just got better as it dripped down the page. last few stanzas are beautiful.
8/18/2006 c1 Edgar Wellington
First of all, the poem reads quickly, like a rushing river. It has an impulsive feeling to it, which fits the theme. By this quality alone I like it. It does slow down in the end, however, as if to let us breathe.

I think the ideas are worth expressing, but I feel like the poem is a little too harsh or direct. I know how hard it is, but criticism like this comes across juvenilely if it isn't somehow offered to readers to discover for themselves. Give me the evidence, like you do in the first half of the poem, until the line "a lacking population", and let me discover it. The following line is a good example of this and I like it quite a bit: "setting ever-shifting rules in hurried type." That does so well to capture the "information age" at its worst - it is an ah-ha revelation to read it.

The magical man: were you thinking of Louis Armstrong?

I enjoyed this poem.
8/17/2006 c1 crazy dog events
This has such a beat that I always expect it to rhyme- but I can't bring myself to be disappointed when it doesn't. it works. The first few lines weren't all that promising- I've seen them so many times- but once you got into your element you really worked it.
8/17/2006 c1 the one
For you, I will delurk and actually leave a review. FOR YOU.

:hasn't done this in a while:

It RHYMES. Awe factor just shot up about five notches.

And. Uh. I like it. Basically. I do. That's really it. I'm not sure what I can say without picking apart the poem, and poetry isn't meant to be picked apart!

So yes. It WORKS and it works WELL. And that's really all that matters.

I like it. Can I ever say that enough?

Because I really do.

Yush.
8/17/2006 c1 22Lost in the Funhouse
I don't know if you meant to do this, but I see the two generations side-by-side as today's and that of the first instance of rock and roll, which was better described to me in the fourth and fifth stanzas.

I love the description where it fits into poem, especially since it's such a vivid picture brought to you by the letter R. R for rhymning! -feel like Sesame Street-

I love how it starts with "Today" and ends with "tomorrow" as if continuing the poem over the years to show music's every-changing... ness. Great job.

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