for Dreams of A OneWinged Angel8/16/2008 c1 Alaxe
I'll give this a try, just warning I'm not very good at reviewing and processing poetry...
LOVE the title, it catches the readers attention bringing them into the poem, making them/me want to find out more.
Out of the three stanza's the first is the best, it is the most visual, and seems to flow easy. The second stanza is alright, but it seems choppy like something is preventing the word flow or you are holding something back. Part of what makes the second stanza so choppy are the first two lines, I see how they connect, they just don't connect in the same way as the rest of the poem and seem irrelevant. The third stanza is okay, not wonderful but definitely not bad, it just seems forced. Over all nice poem.
I'll give this a try, just warning I'm not very good at reviewing and processing poetry...
LOVE the title, it catches the readers attention bringing them into the poem, making them/me want to find out more.
Out of the three stanza's the first is the best, it is the most visual, and seems to flow easy. The second stanza is alright, but it seems choppy like something is preventing the word flow or you are holding something back. Part of what makes the second stanza so choppy are the first two lines, I see how they connect, they just don't connect in the same way as the rest of the poem and seem irrelevant. The third stanza is okay, not wonderful but definitely not bad, it just seems forced. Over all nice poem.
3/30/2008 c1 
612simpleplan13
I like the beginning of this piece a lot. The first stanza has really great word choices and descriptions. But the simile in the next stanza kinda confused me... why would a bird who lost his feather run to chase after them? Plus the last thing you said was the sky which is an it not a them.. that confused me
The rest of it is nice, but I feel like it doesn't live up to the beauty of the first stanza. The ending was just kinda there.. lol
Also you capitalized some random words... the journey freedom i kinda liked, but the wind clouds... i dunno seemed odd there.
Anyhow nice jo.b
612simpleplan13I like the beginning of this piece a lot. The first stanza has really great word choices and descriptions. But the simile in the next stanza kinda confused me... why would a bird who lost his feather run to chase after them? Plus the last thing you said was the sky which is an it not a them.. that confused me
The rest of it is nice, but I feel like it doesn't live up to the beauty of the first stanza. The ending was just kinda there.. lol
Also you capitalized some random words... the journey freedom i kinda liked, but the wind clouds... i dunno seemed odd there.
Anyhow nice jo.b
3/23/2008 c1 460Time To Change
The title makes the piece, I think.
Some very pretty imagery, especially in the first verse.
In the second verse "Like a bird whose lost its feathers" - it should be "who's" as in "who has lost its feathers" I think.
from Imogen
ps. Thank you for your review (and welcome back to RG ;p )
460Time To ChangeThe title makes the piece, I think.
Some very pretty imagery, especially in the first verse.
In the second verse "Like a bird whose lost its feathers" - it should be "who's" as in "who has lost its feathers" I think.
from Imogen
ps. Thank you for your review (and welcome back to RG ;p )
2/28/2008 c1 CandleQueen
I like the image of swimming in a deep blue sky. Very appealing. You seem to write a lot about angels. Just an observation. Odd for someone who likes angst in death. lol
-Ramen
I like the image of swimming in a deep blue sky. Very appealing. You seem to write a lot about angels. Just an observation. Odd for someone who likes angst in death. lol
-Ramen