for ICE CUBES: Frigid Assassins2/2/2013 c1 
4HollyRose2043
Ahah! So I am not the only one to realize that ice cubes are evil. Recently, I have developed a defense tactic against attacks 1-3. Placing a fork over the opening of the glass before sipping usually prevents surprise attacks. However, this can be avoided completely of one simply avoids ice altogether.
4HollyRose2043Ahah! So I am not the only one to realize that ice cubes are evil. Recently, I have developed a defense tactic against attacks 1-3. Placing a fork over the opening of the glass before sipping usually prevents surprise attacks. However, this can be avoided completely of one simply avoids ice altogether.
3/22/2010 c1 2Runebreak
Ah another perfect atemt at humor. Do you think you could mabey add somthing about the dangers of lab created ice like snow cones? Also greenland is covered in ice, and iceland is warm. The vikings set up the names to attract travelers, for both commerce and pillaging. (Although to them there was no clear definition between the two)
2RunebreakAh another perfect atemt at humor. Do you think you could mabey add somthing about the dangers of lab created ice like snow cones? Also greenland is covered in ice, and iceland is warm. The vikings set up the names to attract travelers, for both commerce and pillaging. (Although to them there was no clear definition between the two)
8/4/2009 c1 2RYTwinDemon
Wahahahahahahaha! The evilness of the ice cube nation... I never knew. That was a terrific read; it absolutely made my morning. :-D :-D
2RYTwinDemonWahahahahahahaha! The evilness of the ice cube nation... I never knew. That was a terrific read; it absolutely made my morning. :-D :-D
2/20/2009 c1 1VanillaCentaur
Ah! I lied before. This is my ABSOLUTE favorite. I completely cracked up at "It ate my quarter," it was wonderful!
But, I was thinking... For "the stick and plunge," the whole plunge aspect could possibly be avoided by not shaking ones finger... Instead, if you merely hold your finger (with the ice connected to it) above your glass, the connection will eventually deteriorate and the cube will then fall squarely into the glass...
In any case, I love this one.
1VanillaCentaurAh! I lied before. This is my ABSOLUTE favorite. I completely cracked up at "It ate my quarter," it was wonderful!
But, I was thinking... For "the stick and plunge," the whole plunge aspect could possibly be avoided by not shaking ones finger... Instead, if you merely hold your finger (with the ice connected to it) above your glass, the connection will eventually deteriorate and the cube will then fall squarely into the glass...
In any case, I love this one.
2/4/2009 c1 5Maplewing
This is one of the funniest stories I have read on this site yet. It's so original and... true. I was split between laughing and nodding sagely the whole time. How does this not have a hundred reviews? Great job, I loved it. :D
5MaplewingThis is one of the funniest stories I have read on this site yet. It's so original and... true. I was split between laughing and nodding sagely the whole time. How does this not have a hundred reviews? Great job, I loved it. :D
11/12/2007 c1 c00kiemon
This is a certain "re-read story" for me. Each time I read this story I will bathe in the knowledge that I will never be a victim of "The Shift" or "The Lunge" ever again after reading this. Not to mention that this was hilariously funny as well.
This is a certain "re-read story" for me. Each time I read this story I will bathe in the knowledge that I will never be a victim of "The Shift" or "The Lunge" ever again after reading this. Not to mention that this was hilariously funny as well.
1/26/2007 c1 Arick Payth
I never knew how evil ice cubes really were. I hate it when the perform The Dam, the cold burns my skin. But now I'm prepared. Thank you!
I never knew how evil ice cubes really were. I hate it when the perform The Dam, the cold burns my skin. But now I'm prepared. Thank you!
12/28/2006 c1 8teawithdragons
I really ought to print this out and keep it on the freezer and in my purse. XD I have experienced e.v.e.r.y. s.i.n.g.l.e. one of these attacks - especially the meltdown.
Thankfully, I was not drinking ice water while reading this. It would have resulted in some major gagging and snorking.
Did I just say snorking? o.O Maybe I meant snorting...
8teawithdragonsI really ought to print this out and keep it on the freezer and in my purse. XD I have experienced e.v.e.r.y. s.i.n.g.l.e. one of these attacks - especially the meltdown.
Thankfully, I was not drinking ice water while reading this. It would have resulted in some major gagging and snorking.
Did I just say snorking? o.O Maybe I meant snorting...
12/28/2006 c1 6lux in tenebris
Haha- that's hilarious! I love your sarcastic style of writing. My brother used to write for our high school newspaper, and I used to love his articles (they always attempted to be serious, but in teh end made everyone fall out of their chairs, laughing)... your writing is giving me flashbacks.
And I would like to say this: I read your profile, and I wanted to thank you for saying straight-out that your writing will have no profanity or sexual content. I wish more people would do that (not just say it, but DO it).
6lux in tenebrisHaha- that's hilarious! I love your sarcastic style of writing. My brother used to write for our high school newspaper, and I used to love his articles (they always attempted to be serious, but in teh end made everyone fall out of their chairs, laughing)... your writing is giving me flashbacks.
And I would like to say this: I read your profile, and I wanted to thank you for saying straight-out that your writing will have no profanity or sexual content. I wish more people would do that (not just say it, but DO it).
10/19/2006 c1 Orual
That was hilarious. I'm well acquianted with the shift. Crescent cubes are dangerous in and of themselves; I've choked more than a few times. Great job!
That was hilarious. I'm well acquianted with the shift. Crescent cubes are dangerous in and of themselves; I've choked more than a few times. Great job!
9/27/2006 c1 55Salkiethia
This is so funny. It reads like any normal manual would, and I thought it wasn't going to be funny at all, but it really was. I'll never look the same way at icecubes again.
55SalkiethiaThis is so funny. It reads like any normal manual would, and I thought it wasn't going to be funny at all, but it really was. I'll never look the same way at icecubes again.
9/23/2006 c1 1J'Adore Les Phoques
Wow. You're Mr. Satire for a reason! You should update yourself to Master of Satire or Guru Satire. That was awesome, and completely true! Nice.
1J'Adore Les PhoquesWow. You're Mr. Satire for a reason! You should update yourself to Master of Satire or Guru Satire. That was awesome, and completely true! Nice.
9/16/2006 c1 Xn-v
You are a very talented writer. =] I don't think I've ever read anything like this before - I loved it!
It made me laugh. =D
You are a very talented writer. =] I don't think I've ever read anything like this before - I loved it!
It made me laugh. =D