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for The Hero and His Parents

8/29/2006 c1 5Stitch-Puppy
You're crazy.Nice work. I love the dialogue and the last line. It’s such a mother thing to say.
8/22/2006 c1 7Lorendiac
Vaguely reminiscent of some of the better works of Esther Friesner or Robert Asprin . . . or, for that matter, of some novels I've read in the last few years by a newcomer to the "humorous fantasy" racket, a guy named John Moore. So far, he's published:

Heroics for BeginnersThe Unhandsome PrinceBad Prince Charlie

Each book is a complete story in one volume, featuring a different set of characters. You can read 'em in any order and not get confused. If you haven't read any of Moore's stuff yet, I think it would be right up your alley!

Anyway:

* “You’re not going to try and set me up with some rich idiot instead, like a prince or something? Lock me in a tower? Isn’t that how it usually goes?”

Now he looked confused. “Do you want me to?” *

for some reason, I particularly liked that bit. What an odd concept, letting the charming young noblewoman have a father who apparently *recognizes* that his daughter has a mind of her own and won't easily be bullied into abandoning this romance with a man of a lower class. On the other hand, I got the impression that if she really insisted upon suffering for the sake of True Love, her father might have been willing to go through the motions of locking her up for awhile if it meant so much to her! :)

Although I felt sorry for the wizard, I didn't entirely understand his position. He figured out quickly that this baby boy, Fen, was a Child of Destiny who would someday achieve great and marvelous things. Fine, I can easily swallow the idea that wizards have special ways of spotting Children of Destiny a mile away, long before anyone else notices anything different about them. :)

And since Fen was a Child of Destiny, the Wizard naturally *expected* him to suffer terribly, be very lonely, have one or both parents die when he was very young, the whole nine yards. Overcome huge amounts of adversity and single-handedly pull himself up by his own bootstraps, which is supposed to be a tremendous character-building experience. Okay, I follow the guy's logic . . . and I can even understand wanting to present him with some fancy-schmancy sword at the age of 11 so the kid can start practicing with it. But then we have this:

* “He’s descended from kings!” the wizard cried in despair, clawing at the air and imploring the ceiling with his eyes. *

That's the part where he loses me. What makes him so sure that Fen is descended from kings? Neither Grygor nor Nan seems to know of a single drop of royal blood in the family tree. It made me curious: Did the wizard actually have "inside information" about some distant ancestor, on side of the family or the other, who was the secret child of a royal exile from a deposed dynasty or something, or did the wizard merely leap to the wild conclusion that any kid who was born surrounded by such omens (lightning, fierce wind, etc.) "must be" secretly the descendant and rightful heir of a long-lost branch of one obscure old dynasty or another?

This unresolved question probably does not qualify as a "flaw" in your story and you're under no obligation to explain such details if you don't feel it necessary - but I mention it to let you know it nags at me a little, wondering if the wizard had a clue what he was talking about, or was he just plain *delusional* re: Fen's genealogy?

I also liked the bit where Fen pointed out that a princess who flirted with him could hardly be classed as a gold-digger, when she *already* had access to the gold in a royal treasury and he, as the son of shopkeepers, didn't. I felt sorry for him when his mom immediately changed the subject and found something else to criticize in the girl, rather than explicitly admit that she might actually have made a mistake in her characterization of the girl's motives.
8/20/2006 c1 12Rachel M. T
This was by far the most rediculous, but most hilarious thing I have ever read in the fantasy genre! I absolutely love the fact that everything about Fen's life was the exact opposite of what the horribly cliched fantasy stories are like! Speaking of which, it inspired me to revise my two fantasy stories, both of which involves orphans, one meets a princess, and the other is just kind of thrown into the role of the hero! Wonderful job! So very un-typical!
8/20/2006 c1 1disorganized scribe
they ought to write more stuff like this. but, sadly, the world is too firmly mired in the 'poor-widdle-hero-is-an-angstbunny' frame of mind.
8/20/2006 c1 Mychael Lynne
Wow. Just...wow. That was amazingly funny.

I love the wizard...xDD
8/20/2006 c1 63Talyth
Haha. This made my day. Awesome.

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