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8/22/2006 c1 7The Breakdancing Ninja
Holy Mother of God.

The Breakdancing Ninja just needed to start off the review like that. He gives “The Series” an IT’S OVER!1 rating of 5 out of fuckin’ 5! He thought it was genius: its range, its interrelatedness, its color, its innovativeness—alright, alright, he should save this for the review. Refer to the criticism below for more details.

This is possibly the most difficult review because each one is its own story and personality—its highest honor is being able to pack a whole lot of stories in a small amount of space. Sparse words, but each paragraph explains a lot—the personality, the back story, how they might be related to each other, ect. So what I will do is… Number each paragraph as I talk about them, and see if I could connect them in the end.

1. Slurpee Girl2. Zoo Guy3. Nancy’s Drug-Addict Boyfriend4. The “Boss”5. Daddy’s Boy6. The “Employee”7. A Dying Father

1. The Slurpee Girl: A “Live Wire” is probably what this girl is. When this first piece starts, it has the easiest way of getting people sucked in—of course, because of the way the voice is written. It’s not pleasing, but it’s easy to read and imagine. I wanted to pimp slap this chick for some reason. Chicks complain about men being too controlling all the time. But men rarely say anything, except for a few moments where they might take some initiative, they just happen to do it at the wrong time, and then suddenly they’re controlling. God. Not… like this has ever happened to me before? c_c

Anyway, the sense of realism that this first paragraph has is somewhat scary. It could frame a relationship in only a few lines. And yeah, after you’ve been with someone for a long time, such a thing as missing out on a concert isn’t something small anymore, especially if the magic has disappeared from a relationship.

So yeah, it’s over.

2. Zoo Guy: I think it’s a dude, but it might not be. Some girls here in California talk like this, which is ultra hilarious. But I could hear this guy’s voice, too.

This one paragraph seems to be addressing the paranoia that might happen when one tries to seize the moment—the camera being indicative of the capturer of moments. It IS scary to see what might happen when you leap before you look, and yeah, they’re quick and predatory, but hey, someone’s got to do it. It’s weird that a girl is assigned to go into the cage. And at zoos, they have extreme long sticks and specialists who know how to obtain items that people might have dropped.

I could imagine the zoo being undermanned and they’re like: “Hey, Sandra. You’re new and stupid. Can you get that camera? Look at that mother, she can’t take pictures without it.”

And the absurdity for trading your own life for something as small as a camera (even if it has pictures from all around the world) is what makes the paragraph so ironic. I feel for Sandra.

I would get totally angry if it was just one of those disposable cameras. I’d totally murder someone if it was.

The voice of this one particular sections sounds like the guy moves around a lot and has an intense look on his face with big eyes. And he keeps shifting feet like a line dancer when he talks. Anyway, that’s the feeling that I get.

Man, this paragraph was extremely frustrating, because I couldn’t see how it might fit in the actual plot of the chapter. I’ll bitch more about it later, though.

[I mean no joke, those things just ran to her the minute she bent over to grab that camera, you know, like they were waiting for her. It was over!] ROFLMAO!1

3. Nancy’s Drug-Addict Boyfriend: I see this guy as a slow talker on one of those Truth commercials where he’s sitting on a couch, running his hand through his hair and shaking his head. When I hear his voice, I think of this one kid back in high school, his name was Shamus Ryan. He had the most boring voice ever.

He’s as faded as a pair of Levi jeans, and he even expresses how the magic is starting to wane. I really like this one paragraph because it’s quiet—all of the paragraphs are engaging and real interesting, but the reason why this one is so captivating is because of how quiet it is.

[She’s real straight you know, real straight.] I like how this is phrased.

[Hey, I did it when we met, how is it any different? I don’t know why she’s giving me such a hard time.] Man, people have this kind of logic all the time, don’t they? I love the truthfulness of these dialogue snippets. They’re excellent.

4. The “Boss”: Dude, either this guy is a nigger, or a white rapper from Detroit. ROFL! I could totally see him backing some novice into a brick wall by the collar of his (jersey LOL) shirt. He’s yelling at this fresh blood and getting ALL up in his grill.

When I first red this one section, I mistook the voice for a black woman with a lot of attitude, but I think it’s the “You think this is a game?” part that really helped me get a sense that this person was indeed, a man.

Sometimes I get confused with the new trendy black way of talking (God, I sound so white just saying that) and I wonder if “rocks” still mean “diamonds” or if they mean “cocaine” now. Or do they mean both? In any case, I’m sure that the person speaking is either a REALLY pissed off black woman getting married, or a REALLY pissed off hustler.

[Bitch! Look at me when I’m talking to you!] ;lsdkgh Dave Chapelle’s “Wrap-It-Up” skit. “Bitch, I TOLD you (two fingers to the head)” HAHAHA

I think “Game Over” refers to the actual business itself, and how it all seems like fun and games until you screw up or get too deep, and then all of a sudden you find yourself running from gangsters and worrying about getting shot and stabbed every five seconds. See, that’s why my characters moved to France. If they were ever to get into a situation where they would perhaps be shot or stabbed, it would be in a duel where they would have to be twelve paces away from their adversaries. With white gloves on. XD;;

5. Daddy’s Boy: Shit, this one was sad as all hell.

[I didn’t mean to be late. I was thinking about dad all day though.] The kid has a really apologetic tone, and he doesn’t even say “sorry” a million times. He seems to have a nervous twenty-year old voice that talks really fast but really soft. Someone who works in a cubicle all day. Someone thoughtful.

A series of unfortunate events happens to this kid, which makes it even worse. Even though there are so many bad events, I could still see someone having a day like this. It’s so real and so quiet, so candid and so sad that it’s hard not to sympathize with the character. And it just HAS to be on the day of his dad’s funeral.

It’s weird how the kid is apologizing even though the world should be apologizing to him.

But his inability to see the bright side (people can do it, even after an insanely bad day like this one) shows how deeply his father’s death has effected him. Maybe his subconscious was trying to avoid it and it made him clumsy and wishful for an escape away from reality. When people are busy and distracted with other things, they have very little time to confront what is truly pressing or significant.

People’s minds, miraculously, make up obstacles all the time to hurdle over for a sense of gratification or even just distraction. It’s sad and real.

This kid is sort of handicapped and hampered by his own clumsiness, and relies on so many people to help him: His neighbor, A(A)A, probably a gas station for directions, the police, the paramedics.

He’s indicative of a sort of helplessness. Maybe he embodies the helplessness that his father had while he had his long stay at the hospital.

6. The “Employee”: I associate this guy with The “Boss”, and maybe he’s in deep shit because he can’t find the money to compensate for his major screw up (I mean, he did try to fool a hustler). He has a pretty nervous (and nigger-esque) voice.

[That fuckn’ light with Jesus and Moses and the naked angel bitches.] The light at the end of the tunnel of people’s lives. Hahaha. I like the way he says “naked angel bitches”.

Beer isn’t as flammable as let’s say… tequila or vodka. But he’s already coked out (I think), so it would be kind of redundant to chase it down with something as hard as vodka. It would be hella wrong if he spritzed Everclear all over the goddamn car. He probably would have caught on fire from the drops of Everclear still on his hand. Hahaha

It’s hilarious how he compares himself to the famous rapper when saying his Hail Mary. XD!

At least the clumsy guy spared his life. But I don’t know if that’s a good thing. haha

I like how, when he feels the fire burn his hand a little, he suddenly freaks out and gets the hell out of the car. At least he has a little common sense left in him.

He’s probably trying to coke himself out so he doesn’t feel pain, but he isn’t out of the woods yet. Even if the needle and everything else explodes with his car, can’t a police person tell if he’s been taking drugs? And won’t he still have a dependency on drugs afterwards? He still has a long struggle ahead of him, but that’s what happens when you pull away from the light back into the darkness. It’s just good that he values his life and is relieved for being able to keep it.

The use of the cuss words, especially variants of the word “fuck” are scattered liberally, but nicely throughout this dialogue snippet. It was pretty enjoyable to read.

7. A Dying Father: Man, this one was the worst one. I just noticed it right now, but the snippets elevate into higher kinds of problems in life until they suddenly reach the climax, which is this snippet. At first it was just zoos and relationships, but then it became a mess of drug dealers, car accidents, and funerals. And here’s the culmination.

This father seems good-natured but tired. He reminds me of that one guy from “Grey’s Anatomy”. He was this sick patient and love interest of this one nurse in the season finale. Man, it was painful. He died in his bed alone reading a newspaper, waiting for the nurse to come. And he was smiling, too, which was ass. Blood clots.

There’s a whole lot of exposition here. And it only needs a few sentences to express loneliness. I like how he starts off with “You know”. It lightens the tone of an otherwise morbid snippet. He reveals he’s been in the hospital for a long time, which means he’s diagnosed with something bad. I totally feel for this guy.

The character doesn’t seem to have too much resentment for anything going on around him (except for the TV and the noise, but it’s acceptable), which is good.

It’s weird how a soundless movie reminds him of being outside. Well, maybe because real life doesn’t have an underscore or corner dialogue, and the surroundings are muted unless they hold some significance. Usually, when you go to a park, you’re watching more than listening, and you might hear kids playing, but that’s about it. You could probably mute the sound and the park-goer will still hear the kids he or she is seeing at the playground.

And of COURSE this guy would hate re-runs, he’s always in bed and it’s the only thing he sees. I really feel for this guy. And yeah, remakes suck. The guy seems to have an old-fashioned appreciation for an original (or sort of original) movie. He doesn’t seem so old, though, which is weird.

I wish “Geena” was spelled as good old “Gina”. The double-e seems weird. But she really is nice. It sucks that she’s young and busy—it also serves to show that maybe there’s a rift in the marriage, if he’s still even married to his wife. I could imagine him kind of wishing he was still healthy so he could take out that Geena chick. And yeah, thoughts like that could really depress a person. The use of ellipses was perfect there.

It’s weird how he wants the son to stay, even though he’s asleep. I guess he really is lonely and tired and tired of being lonely. I like how we don’t find out until the end that he’s talking to his son. It really has a good effect, and both the snippet and the piece had a nice (but sad) end.

The title “The Series” refers to the following:1. A number of objects or events arranged or coming one after the other in succession. 2. A set of stamps, coins or currency issued in a particular period. 3. Physics & Chemistry. A group of objects related by linearly varying successive differences in form or configuration: a radioactive decay series; the paraffin alkane series. 4. Mathematics. The sum of a sequentially ordered finite or infinite set of terms. 5. Geology. A group of rock formations closely related in time of origin and distinct as a group from other formations. 6. Grammar. A succession of coordinate elements in a sentence. 7. a. A succession of usually continuously numbered issues or volumes of a publication, published with related authors or subjects and similar formats. b. A succession of regularly aired television programs, each one of which is complete in and of itself. 8. a. Sports. A number of games played by the same two teams, often in succession. b. Baseball. The World Series. 9. Linguistics. A set of vowels or diphthongs related by ablaut, as in sing, sang, sung, and song. Also, my small contribution would be to a TV series. It is literally episodic of people’s lives and shows in short snippets every week what happens to other people. A series always comes to an end, and only lasts as long as it’s supported by its viewers.

The story basically calls itself a short piece of linear, episodic accounts of the lives of people. It’s weird how the father says he hates re-runs and remakes of originals, because that’s what every story ever published is. Hahaha Hope you liked the Hertz analysis of that.

~+Kevin Smith was correct when he said: Everyone is connected by six degrees. Except for…+~

|| [] [] [] Alright, the Dying Father dies, and then Daddy’s Boy tries to go to see him, but gets in an accident—he saves The “Employee’s” life. ||

[] [] [] The “Employee” was trying to fake his own death (I think—or he was really trying to off himself) so he could avoid the wrath of his/[The] “Boss”. ||

[] [] [] The “Boss” deals drugs to Nancy’s Drug-Addict Boyfriend (who is possibly Hal) and because of his drug habit, Nancy is fed up that she can’t go out. ||

[] [] [] Alright, I got all of them except for the Zoo Guy and Sandra. Hahahaha That one was difficult, and I didn’t know where to place them. ||

Maybe they fit more with the theme of “It’s OVER”. I think it’s ironic because of the Six Degrees thing and Sandra’s the seventh that doesn’t fit. She can’t be the mom of the son—the Zoo guy sounds pretty young, and they’re at the zoo… And plus, the Dad was in the Hospital for a really long time before he died, and the son was apologizing to the mom that he couldn’t make it. Unless she died after her son got into an accident. Sandra can’t be the girlfriend of the drug-user, because he says the girlfriend’s name is Nancy. And I don’t really associate someone like Sandra who works at a Zoo with The “Boss” or The “Employee”. I think I covered all bases.

The message “It’s Over”, of course, has a morbid undertone, and the only place where it is remotely positive is the one where the guy almost committed seppuku—but he’ll still have to face his “Boss”. The “It’s Over” seems like a device to help along to find an end to each monologue. It seems to be the limiter—each conversation uses “It’s Over” differently, especially concerning each paragraph’s tone. It could express anger, sadness, regret, relief, a solicitation for pity, surprise, frustration… but it never seems to use it as a way of celebration or happiness. It’s a convenient device, but it has an even more important use. And that is, to express the idea of impermanence.

The piece has a lot of mobility because something ends as quickly as it begins—conversation-wise (paragraph by paragraph), relationship-wise, career-wise—everything. The Series rushes through—imperceptibly treating every story like disposable tissues to show how many Ends meet. It’s what gives the piece a whirlwind effect. Every tone complemented the piece, every story realistic but at the same time surreal and shocking.

It isn’t as tight-bound as the movie “Crash”, which gives it a lot more magic. It doesn’t try too hard—it doesn’t even seem to have the same story-plot planning that goes into coincidental, ironic connections that stories often has. It’s as if the mind of the writer slowly connects one with the other. The piece is loose, liberal, and mind-blowing in its casual relation of all things: it has a more candid, real effect and doesn’t show all the tamperings of millions of edits. Very natural, but exacting nonetheless.

This was a grueling review.

I enjoyed reviewing this piece... like, A LOT. You have no idea how fun it was. Of course, if you post too many like this, I'll probably die from shock, but hey, it's good to see every once in a while.

Mind-blowingly inventive, real, extremely accomplished on so many levels, while keeping the reader interested-no, ENGAGED (not in marriage, not on the Enterprise, but in your story hahaha).

It was an ingenious piece of writing. In my favorites it goes. I seriously have to clean my favorites. It's getting too cluttered, and I can't gush about your writing enough. I'm completely exhausted. XD!

Seriously.

Rock on, Monochrome Lovers!

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