for Soul Scraper1/21/2009 c1 
189oxytocin
A beautiful idea and image encapsulated in the poem, but I felt that you obscured such a poignant scene with overly-fancy and unnecessary 'style' - why put the first syllable of 'insanity' in parentheses? What does that signify? And the double ampersands is just so scene, it detracts from the value of the piece. Some amazing language used; her skin rotting in the 'blistering sun' - and although 'blistering sun' is a cliche, it didn't matter here, because it fit - but the style was distracting and ruined the tragic ambience of the poem.
189oxytocinA beautiful idea and image encapsulated in the poem, but I felt that you obscured such a poignant scene with overly-fancy and unnecessary 'style' - why put the first syllable of 'insanity' in parentheses? What does that signify? And the double ampersands is just so scene, it detracts from the value of the piece. Some amazing language used; her skin rotting in the 'blistering sun' - and although 'blistering sun' is a cliche, it didn't matter here, because it fit - but the style was distracting and ruined the tragic ambience of the poem.