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11/12/2006 c1 25Bitter Irony
Cool story. Your descriptions and dialogue are especially good/realistic.

You wound up switching tenses in the middle for some reason, and then switching back again.

The only other grammar error I could find: "“Love you to[o] pop” said Darrion as he hung up."

Do you plan on updating this story some time soon?

~Bitter Irony

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