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6/19/2014 c19 8R.E.D. the animator
So ultimately Brian turned out to be the villain. I forgot how impulsive he was in this story. He really mellows out in the later ones.

It's so weird reading this again in light of the events of the 4th book. There's a lot that fits right into place. However the 4th book fails to explain where Aero goes after Charlie takes her. Was the Charlie from this book the same one from the later stories, or was she just a creation of the gang in order to prepare Kenzi for future events, similar to Jon's lamanite training? I guess if it were just a fake Charlie then Aero would simply have disappeared along with the whole world once they left it. I think that everyone agrees that Aero was the best character, second only to Jon when he's mad at Brian.

For some reason it feels like at the moment that they jump for the first time with the remote the plot begins to fall apart. Something about being able to jump to any time and any place makes the events seem less important. Or maybe it just feels like that because that's the moment where the story abruptly shifts gears from survival with the Nephite Ninjas to running across time, causing much of the exposition up to that point to no longer matter.

TSG has certainly come a long way since this book. Say what you will about it's quality, but there's no denying that this book presented almost all of the concepts that were vital to the later stories. This one was the seed.

12/18/2007 c20 audrey
Who! that was all friggin right guys, just substitute all that fake swearing for real, and you got it right, very, very right! cant wait to read the SECOND ONE!

hugs and kisses

12/18/2007 c19 audrey
sorry havent created that account yet, but whoops i just kept on reading without pausing I think i skipped a chapter or two, oh well, very very nice! almost done aye? And thats just not cool jon, killing your own son...
12/17/2007 c16 audrey
WoW! uh not much to say that I havent said before...loverly chapter you got going, and I hope it keeps going...


12/17/2007 c14 Audrey
Jon, you couldnt build a boat to save your life, you could barely cannoe while you where here, but still a very nice chapter! alone and Married...I dont think that it would creep you out that much...your a romantic remember?


12/17/2007 c13 Audrey
You would! that is great! very great!

very nice!

much love,

12/14/2007 c12 Audrey
WoW, Jon you never had and never will make things easy, but that was cool, the pace the plane hitting you always said that you wanted to go to that palce in time to try to save people.
12/14/2007 c11 audrey
Me thinks that there getting shorter, but I still very much love the chapter.
12/14/2007 c10 Audrey
You know I should be doing my home work but this is a damn good story, and Jon can you still not drive? oh and by the by, I'm going to be using your old email address to set up an account here. Don't worry I already know your password. You sure dont change much.

much Love,

12/14/2007 c9 Audrey
Nice! very nice dialoge, great change of pace and most definatly a great way to end it, are you guys going to write for a living? you should, that would be cool as hell to see all of your books on a display case in Barne's an Noble.
12/14/2007 c7 Audrey
Another nice chapter you got going here, I like the way teh pace is picking up and most definatly my faviort character has to be Jon, not for any personal reasons, just I happen to love a badass...

as always your friend,

12/13/2007 c5 Audrey
Jon, your probably wondering who this is...and yes it is me, I've gotten better and I want to talk...Look I am sorry for all that I put you thru, well there's another good chapter, a very good job now, That Is totally something That you would do! and you wouldnt mind killing anybody that tried to kill you...we know that!
12/13/2007 c4 Author
Another very nice chapter, The loss of Jon, Jon was always doing that in real life, martrying himself, sucks for all who try to save him, trust me I know, tell him if he's not monitering these that this is...

Author aka Audery;
12/13/2007 c3 Author
WOW! Very much the mystery, 'course everyone hates the native, but other than that a very good chapter indeed! although I think that I can see the differences in writers, might be that your having the characters help? I have a hunch that maybe just maybe, your the better mormon of the group and this is your idea and at least one is helping you, maybe Jon that sounds like something he would do...

12/13/2007 c2 An Author
Well, thats a very interseting beganing, and what do you know the native is the only one with the survival instinct to run like hell when the shooting starts, and then he faints, we'll just see how this goes,

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