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9/12/2006 c2 Quaviver
Well. Hiya.

You probably don't remember me, but I was one of those random people (read: shameless ingrates) whom you so kindly reviewed a coupla months ago and never got back to you. Yes, monstrous injustice, I know. So in the interests of the cosmic balance, I'm reviewing now. However, since I'm an unbelievably lazy puddle of scum, I shall review one of the shortest works you have posted lately.

Well, you have something terribly interesting going on here. Very original, very real. Oh, I don't know the words, except that you have the "it." Both of these stories are so awfully... sensual. Cinematic. As if you've taken the reader out of her skin and plunked her into someone else's head-something like what happens in a first-person film-subjecting her to the tedious/heartbreaking minutiae of their daily lives. And it's a very strangebeautiful, artsy kind of film.

At first, I was confused by the story and summary too in "Snake-Love." Puppy love? There doesn't seem to be any love going on. ^^; But then again, there's that Shyamalan twist of it, the writhing subtlesnakiness (haha) of symbolism. It has to do with Darren's evasions, hasn't it? First, he hides from her, the little girl, Rachel. He hides from love (?). And then, after being forced to confront her and it, he emerges and finds himself wanting to prove himself. Like the primitive man, so to speak, facing the wilderness to prove that he's worthy of someone's affection. But then he is once bitten, and he becomes twice shy. He withdraws. And the whole business ceases to exist for him, snakes and love both. Beautiful.

Anyhow, I like the circular structure in this one. It balances out so neatly, and, even when it isn't thoroughly analyzed, it induces that slight, dizzying feel of "I know something changed in me, but I can't really tell." And surprise endings are always lovely.

The second one is of the same circular shape, with a similarly satisfying ending. One of its better features is the rather adorable evasion of the narrator, the uncertainty and off-tangent ramblings (complete with Calculusy free associations! XD) just so she could avoid having to bare herself to the one s/he is writing to (something which she does anyway, indirectly). And I love the full-blown, four-dimensional image of rain-the tenderness of description that you/the letter-writer lavished on the smallest details-just because the one she is (you are) writing to misses it, just like you/the letter-writer misses this person.

But of course the best part is when it ends at the general beginning of all letters. The awkward, exposed, sheepish, single-line vulnerability of the final "How are you? I miss you"... It's just one of the most perfect conclusions, imho.

Oh yeah. A random: I thoroughly agree about the male muses. =D

Feh. I'm sorry about the length and general incoherence of this review, if this is a review at all. It's my way, though. If I don't put it all in a big block, I lose the continuity of whatever it is I'm trying to say. Send me an emaily note (or write it in your profile) if you prefer the short-review-per-chapter kind of format. Oh, and don't worry. I'll be making a proper review of your main work one of these days (or months, hehe). Children of the Wilds, isn't it? And do you write about pretty, white-haired male mages, by any chance?
9/8/2006 c2 13Shadowhound
This chapter did everything you wanted it to. The feelings you put into this are the ones everyone feels at some time.

I can't think of anything to say. You do a better job of writing emotion than I do. All I can say is that this is by far the best thing I have read today.

9/8/2006 c1 Shadowhound
Interesting start. I don't completely understand the beginning, though. What do you mean when you say that to Darren snakes don't exist? At first I thought you meant that he literally could not see them, but then you show that he does. So I'm confused a bit. I'll probably figure it out next chapter. Anyway, excellent first chapter.

9/7/2006 c2 2Casey Drake
...I like this one.

:) CD
9/5/2006 c2 11Wolfie Star26
You got my friend's challenge. I'll have to tell her it was posted. But I could have sworn there was like a third chapter or something. Maybe I'm confusing it with another story. Anyway, keep up the great work. It was wonderful, especially the snake one.
9/4/2006 c1 12Lccorp2

T'alnoth of the Gold Flight:

Perhaps it's because I'm a little oblivious, but I don't really see the puppy love in here. Friendship, yes, but otherwise...no.
9/4/2006 c3 31Mya von Dor
I love how you describe things, btw, it's really good. I'd be jealous, but you write too eloquently for me to do anything but enjoy it, really. I also like the ending, very cute :D
9/4/2006 c2 Mya von Dor
I like that! I want someone to (honestly) write me a letter like that! And I love that bit where he's talking about the rain...it's so, well, descriptive and cool and accurate! But anyway...
9/4/2006 c1 Mya von Dor
I like the ending, it's really amuzing! Not what I expected at all!

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