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for Treading Dust Like Water

2/1/2007 c1 48R. Louise
Completely amazing... and much more.
12/5/2006 c1 31none of burt's beeswax
god, your imagery is amazing. the first stanza just draws the reader in. pure beauty.
10/26/2006 c1 D. Rochelle
Living origami. I hope not - I have a hard time with the inanimate kind. :)

I like this poem a lot. It seems sort of blurry and hazy, kind of with a sparkly overcoating. The only thing I can constructively crit is the second stanza. The "her fall" is a nice touch at the end, but it drives me crazy to have the fifth line for those two words. It would be 4/4/3/3/1 without it. I dunno, don't listen to me too much, I'm just a structure junkie.

Good poem, please keep writing. :)
10/17/2006 c1 612simpleplan13
I really love that last line... beautifully done
9/18/2006 c1 91fairytale failure
One of your sharpest images. And isn't there something about her that is still beautiful? anyway, the last group of three lines had the most impact, or so I thought. I also liked Behind kohl dirtied eyes she merges into mundane. because makeup is supposed to make you pretty...so its powerful.
9/11/2006 c1 8You Make Me Smile A Lot
that was great (better than mine) thanx for reviewing my peom^_^
9/9/2006 c1 53AchtungBabyAchtung
i love the shorter lines, and the broken bits. plus i like the way it feels quiet and understated, despite the beautiful desprip. iz x
9/8/2006 c1 194Aslan Israel
Brilliance trapped. Bittersweet, in the end. but oh so beautiful.
9/8/2006 c1 83White is a Sin
*stares blankly* a little confusing. Though a lot of my poems end up like "what the..."

I like it. Great description. I guess i could picture most of it...^_^

Thanks for the review. I was pretty unsure of that poem ^_^

I like your user name ^_^
9/7/2006 c1 1n-Iceness
great poem..

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