for Jacked7/11/2018 c1 
13Shailaputri
Seems you no longer write here..but curious to know how you could have proceeded it..
13ShailaputriSeems you no longer write here..but curious to know how you could have proceeded it..
6/1/2016 c1 crazydaisyyy
omg one chapter and I alrdy love this story and Jay *swoon* I wish this story cld be continued HAHAHA
omg one chapter and I alrdy love this story and Jay *swoon* I wish this story cld be continued HAHAHA
7/1/2012 c1 daresa09
Jay sounds like a psychopath . Just a little bit though . I was secretly hoping that she was a professional pickpocket and took his keys during the hug .
I hope you'd be able to write more on this !
Jay sounds like a psychopath . Just a little bit though . I was secretly hoping that she was a professional pickpocket and took his keys during the hug .
I hope you'd be able to write more on this !
9/16/2011 c1 10Imperfect-Princess
You know, it has been a very, very, very long time since a story interested me so much. Although it's on hold, I'm looking forward to when you pick it back up again and add a new chapter.
Happy ready, -IP
10Imperfect-PrincessYou know, it has been a very, very, very long time since a story interested me so much. Although it's on hold, I'm looking forward to when you pick it back up again and add a new chapter.
Happy ready, -IP
9/2/2011 c1 8DorkExpress
Hahaha... this JJ dude is funny! So sarcastic and remarkful! I just love it!
XOXO
8DorkExpressHahaha... this JJ dude is funny! So sarcastic and remarkful! I just love it!
XOXO
8/30/2010 c1 14angel-Janna
Good setting, believable characters, and I kind of like Jay... He's the real Hustle!
Keep it up!
Janna
x
14angel-JannaGood setting, believable characters, and I kind of like Jay... He's the real Hustle!
Keep it up!
Janna
x
5/22/2010 c1 Alanisaur
This is really good. You have to update! Even if it is on hold! I love this story! I cant wait to see where it goes!
~BlankPage
This is really good. You have to update! Even if it is on hold! I love this story! I cant wait to see where it goes!
~BlankPage
12/10/2009 c1 1je-kay24
muse muse you must return :)
this beginning is a great start. we got a good look and understanding of Jay's personality and character
cant wait to get into marissa's character
i hope your inspiration returns soon so you can begin to update this story... from just this chapter you can tell it will be a great story and we can see just how talented you are as a writer :)
1je-kay24muse muse you must return :)
this beginning is a great start. we got a good look and understanding of Jay's personality and character
cant wait to get into marissa's character
i hope your inspiration returns soon so you can begin to update this story... from just this chapter you can tell it will be a great story and we can see just how talented you are as a writer :)
12/2/2009 c1 lexis
This was a great start, I really liked it, and if you play your cards right, it could turn out to be an even greater story! I would like to make some suggestions, but dont take offence though because they are merely suggestion and u can choose to ignore them;first, When they meet again Marissa shouldn't remember him at first(it always makes the story more "blah" if the girl chases the guy and it would make him more intruged by her because her not remembering makes her look like she's been to bussy, with more important things, to dwell on a random person, hi. So in turn that makes him curious witch makes him chase her not the other way around.) Second, the girl, Marissa, shouldn't be like what he first thought her to be like, spoiled, she should've had to work for her money. Third, her and her brother should've gone through a hart ache, that makes it so her brother is all she has. My last suggestion is... jelousy! have jay at some point be very jelousy of another man over Marissa! Jelousy always, in my oppinoin makes a story better!
Can't wait for this story to be up dated! You dont have to listen to word i said so please dont take any offence!
This was a great start, I really liked it, and if you play your cards right, it could turn out to be an even greater story! I would like to make some suggestions, but dont take offence though because they are merely suggestion and u can choose to ignore them;first, When they meet again Marissa shouldn't remember him at first(it always makes the story more "blah" if the girl chases the guy and it would make him more intruged by her because her not remembering makes her look like she's been to bussy, with more important things, to dwell on a random person, hi. So in turn that makes him curious witch makes him chase her not the other way around.) Second, the girl, Marissa, shouldn't be like what he first thought her to be like, spoiled, she should've had to work for her money. Third, her and her brother should've gone through a hart ache, that makes it so her brother is all she has. My last suggestion is... jelousy! have jay at some point be very jelousy of another man over Marissa! Jelousy always, in my oppinoin makes a story better!
Can't wait for this story to be up dated! You dont have to listen to word i said so please dont take any offence!
8/5/2009 c1 cheri du mien
Just out of curiosity, do you plan on continuing this story? Cause there are reviews for chapter 3, but I only see one...please continue. This is so awesome.
cheri
Just out of curiosity, do you plan on continuing this story? Cause there are reviews for chapter 3, but I only see one...please continue. This is so awesome.
cheri
5/21/2009 c1 2mythee
It's me again.
Weren't there more chapters before? Something about his friends and his sister and he sold some crappy gaget to this guy and he demanded a refund, a laptop or something? Maybe I'm wrong...wrong story? well, if I'm right, it means I have a kick-ass memory.
2mytheeIt's me again.
Weren't there more chapters before? Something about his friends and his sister and he sold some crappy gaget to this guy and he demanded a refund, a laptop or something? Maybe I'm wrong...wrong story? well, if I'm right, it means I have a kick-ass memory.
4/10/2009 c1 Bellusss
Reasons Why You Should Continue This Story:
1. This story kicks ass
2. There's no other story on fictionPress that is like yours
3. You haven't updated in a little over two years...
4. You already have over a hundred reviews from people begging you to update
5. Just think of all the girls in the world reading your story and not crying on strangers' shoulders
6. No body likes it when a story captures their attention but the author is flighty
7. I really, really like your story :D
so... kudos for the good start :) update?
Reasons Why You Should Continue This Story:
1. This story kicks ass
2. There's no other story on fictionPress that is like yours
3. You haven't updated in a little over two years...
4. You already have over a hundred reviews from people begging you to update
5. Just think of all the girls in the world reading your story and not crying on strangers' shoulders
6. No body likes it when a story captures their attention but the author is flighty
7. I really, really like your story :D
so... kudos for the good start :) update?
3/11/2009 c1 silver shaft
haha so i read this anyway even though it said on hold...i really liked it though.
wow what an asshole this fellow is. lol.
kharma...
haha so i read this anyway even though it said on hold...i really liked it though.
wow what an asshole this fellow is. lol.
kharma...