for Kane's Field1/26/2013 c86 Ryan
After reading Soul Mates on , I thought I'd sample your original fiction. And I'm very glad I did.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel-not only because it reminded me of Asimov-and I wanted to let you know that I was riveted by the plot. The ending was a bittersweet one, but that made the struggle have meaning.
Bravo!
After reading Soul Mates on , I thought I'd sample your original fiction. And I'm very glad I did.
I thoroughly enjoyed this novel-not only because it reminded me of Asimov-and I wanted to let you know that I was riveted by the plot. The ending was a bittersweet one, but that made the struggle have meaning.
Bravo!
9/23/2012 c86 
10Do Play With Fire
Now that was a good story. There were a few typos here and there, but it is not like you can catch everything when you proofread. I liked your slightly dark and random sense of humor, and I also liked all of the characters.
-Alex
10Do Play With FireNow that was a good story. There were a few typos here and there, but it is not like you can catch everything when you proofread. I liked your slightly dark and random sense of humor, and I also liked all of the characters.
-Alex
8/15/2012 c46 Do Play With Fire
Xoin does not have it easy, but isn't he a bad guy so far? Kai seems really interesting.
-Alex
Xoin does not have it easy, but isn't he a bad guy so far? Kai seems really interesting.
-Alex
8/10/2012 c26 Do Play With Fire
I like all of the chapters, and I think that you should leave them just the way they are. You created a page turner.
-Alex
I like all of the chapters, and I think that you should leave them just the way they are. You created a page turner.
-Alex
8/9/2012 c7 Do Play With Fire
I thought the whole story about how they got banned from Jupiter was funny.
-Alex
I thought the whole story about how they got banned from Jupiter was funny.
-Alex
8/25/2008 c9 10Nate K
You know, you just pissed me off. I don't like it at all the the crew is to be killed, but I guess that's the point.
10Nate KYou know, you just pissed me off. I don't like it at all the the crew is to be killed, but I guess that's the point.
2/4/2008 c86 1Malissa Michelle White
I have to say, I really enjoyed reading this piece! It's fun, really light hearted, and reminded me of "Fire Fly" (this show in America), which is a great compliment I think. I really liked the way you wrote it, and weaved the story together. It wasn't all happy go-lucky bullsh*t, which is excellent, and you really stayed true to your characters personalities, which is very hard to do given the length.
Despite this, the story doesn't seem finished to me (but maybe i think this because i don't want to let it go..?) Seems as if there is a lot of ground left uncovered, and a lot of questions that need to be addressed. I think by ending it in this way, it signals that perhaps you were tired of writing or felt you explored every avenue you could explore. If that's the case, i beg to differ: detail added here and there, explanations lent (especially to that bit with Larki and the kidnappers-who the hell were they? or what decision Xion made) would enhance the story, so that when it ended, it tied all lose ends. If you're not making a sequel or a thrillogy, i think it might do your work some good. Other than that, there were a few grammatical and spelling mistakes that floated around, nothing too major though. Oh, one more thing: i think the battle scene was told from too many perspectives, which kind of slowed the intensity of the battle. i like the way you handled it, but maybe editing out a few voices will focus the chaos and allow the reader to really feel the weight of what it means to your plot, and for your characters. i think, if i feared for Lex's life, i would value her and Zean's relationship a little more. Also, instead of telling me how long he'd been waiting to get with her, show it in the text by including some glances-things like that.
I definitely loved it, and i really can't remember a time i read a story start to finish with such enthusiasm. Good work and congratulations.
**off to inspect your other works...**
M
1Malissa Michelle WhiteI have to say, I really enjoyed reading this piece! It's fun, really light hearted, and reminded me of "Fire Fly" (this show in America), which is a great compliment I think. I really liked the way you wrote it, and weaved the story together. It wasn't all happy go-lucky bullsh*t, which is excellent, and you really stayed true to your characters personalities, which is very hard to do given the length.
Despite this, the story doesn't seem finished to me (but maybe i think this because i don't want to let it go..?) Seems as if there is a lot of ground left uncovered, and a lot of questions that need to be addressed. I think by ending it in this way, it signals that perhaps you were tired of writing or felt you explored every avenue you could explore. If that's the case, i beg to differ: detail added here and there, explanations lent (especially to that bit with Larki and the kidnappers-who the hell were they? or what decision Xion made) would enhance the story, so that when it ended, it tied all lose ends. If you're not making a sequel or a thrillogy, i think it might do your work some good. Other than that, there were a few grammatical and spelling mistakes that floated around, nothing too major though. Oh, one more thing: i think the battle scene was told from too many perspectives, which kind of slowed the intensity of the battle. i like the way you handled it, but maybe editing out a few voices will focus the chaos and allow the reader to really feel the weight of what it means to your plot, and for your characters. i think, if i feared for Lex's life, i would value her and Zean's relationship a little more. Also, instead of telling me how long he'd been waiting to get with her, show it in the text by including some glances-things like that.
I definitely loved it, and i really can't remember a time i read a story start to finish with such enthusiasm. Good work and congratulations.
**off to inspect your other works...**
M