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for By the Sunset River

3/4/2007 c1 Bri Neves
Absolutely beautiful. Loved it.
2/25/2007 c1 24Will Sachiksy
Amazing. I loved the fluidity and the atmosphere. Like the faded memory of a summer sunset.

I have some individual complaints about some lines. "A song of her memories and make believe" doesn't fit the meter of the rest of the stanza. The lines "desperate or dark" and "Diminished and done" have the same problem.

The stanzas that start "Feathers and blossoms they go with the spring" and "The ripples are crusted with sunset gold" should also be fixed for meter. The latter follows its own meter and not the one of the rest of the poem. I don't know whether you did this for effect, but it jarrs a bit.

The subtle contrast you use works well here. As for the o spacing, it not only gave appropriate distance for the stanzas but also gave the image of bubbles, reinforcing the water image and hinting ominously about the person in the poem. One of my favorites. Well done.
10/4/2006 c1 52Dabronicci
This poem was written elegantly. Each word helped create this image, this beautiful image. You have talent, and can create an idea without using cliché imagery. Well done, very well done indeed. And just a side note, Stupid Poets is a work I wrote just to provoke thought—I do believe poetry can be without form, but I also agree poetry should be poetry, there are many examples throughout fiction press that can prove my point.But alas, this review is drifting into nothingness, so I end it now. Well written poem, I don’t say that very often, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Well done.
9/11/2006 c1 56felicia13
Seriously. The layout can suck, but when pressing ENTER, push SHIFT + ENTER and it'll give you one space between the lines. It's nice, actually ...

As for the poem, I thought it was very nice. A nice little flow it's got. The words all sort of ran down into each other and made it seem like a song in my head ... it was fun. Anywho, I thought it was lovely.

Keep writing, or I'll shoot you. I'm not even joking. Ask WyrdWolf, he'll tell you I'm dead serious.

9/10/2006 c1 Crystal113 not logged in
I love the imagery in here, as well as the sense of hopefulness and loss.

As for the layout, FP and ff.net don't allow punctuation marks to stand by themselves. Personally, I use [o] or . If there's another way to get line breaks, I don't know it. But it looks fine.
9/10/2006 c1 31xForeverAndAlwaysx
This is amazing. I think the layout is fine, don't worry about it caz the beauty of your poem is a lot more important and memorable. I really like this piece, it's extremely well written. i love this: 'and time drifts on by / like steps in the sand'. your description of the river is captivating and you always found just the right words. again, wow, this is amazing. great great work.

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