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11/26/2006 c1 89rira-chan
i liked this very much. i loved the ending especially. very morbid but very lovely.

~rira-chan

P.S thanks for your reveiw on my poem!
10/20/2006 c1 879Moondog Dozier
Excellent continuation of sound. I like the specific feelings that leap from the page. Great sound.
10/3/2006 c1 pripri
v v gd. nice sh and s sounds. ALLTIERATION! mrs parkinson wll be so proud
9/19/2006 c1 29Scrunchy
Hmm, this was a good poem, with a dark side to it. The contrasting line length between "shake shiver shudder" and "Shrink" worked very well.

Your other 'thing' with the brackets, that worked so well for the "he won't (be able to) come" worked almost as well in this, with the "(bullet)". Then again, we're analysing poetry in class, and I swear, we're going too into depth.

Anyway, great writing.

Scrunchy
9/19/2006 c1 72Iris Early
Oh, nollie like. Especially 'snake shiver shudder shrink'. Not quite sure I get the 'built (bullet)' bit... what does bullets have to do with anything?... twas a wonderfully emo phrase though, congrats. xx
9/10/2006 c1 Christybell
"Built (bullet) from scratch."]Your best poem yet!I love it!
9/10/2006 c1 96Pandakun84
Cool. I like this. Great job!
9/10/2006 c1 Guest
o. like the new formatting :) and the new ideas. iz xx

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