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for Whispers of Delia

10/1/2006 c1 4A. J. Krautwurst
wow. there are so many images in this that are just perfect. it seemed to drag maybe a bit. if you could find a way to condense some of the stonger images in the piece it would be sharp enough to kill.
9/23/2006 c1 2oldmancobalt
I'll start by thanking you for your review, it is much appreciated. Moving on!

This is an excellent poem, I have to admit I was attracted by the summary. It was such a hook that I had to find out what you meant.

"I don't have blue eyes."

Awesome.

The poem is a different style than that I think I've typically found on Fictionpress, and it's a nice thing to see.

I found the first couple of lines a tad tedious, but they had enough promise to continue. It drags on a bit from thereon out, but generally I enjoyed it- particularly "And secrets that would melt in your mouth/ Like cherry bombs sinking ships."

Also, your use of metaphor and description of things is absolutely phenomenal. Lines like "A garden budding on her body. /Like a dancer she weaves her way/ around in the evening light." really sell the poem and make it a truly enjoyable read overall.

-Cobalt
9/15/2006 c1 I Found Myself At 24
Beautiful piece. I really like it!
9/14/2006 c1 BashiQu
That's beautifully done.

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