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for Into the Shadows

1/25/2007 c1 12elisefey
Holy crap! but that was creepy. I suppose it was rather dumb of me to read this just before bed... Oh well. Nicely done. Your poet's ear for words works well with this kind of horror where the mood is everything. Your tone builds the tension and you've done well with it here.

The ending seems a little abrupt. I somehow feel that even though you may want to still leave the Outsider's fate up to the reader there should be at least a hint of her (feel like it's a her though I don't remember you specifically saying so) reaction to the discovery of Allison Adair. But all in all, I think this is a very good piece. :)
9/15/2006 c1 Xn-v
That was chillingly wonderful! There were a few sentences here and there that were a bit dubious - e.g.'I wondered why anyone would want to settle the place but I figured the city the town once was, must have been pretty damn prosperous.'

But overall, great story.

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