for today morning10/12/2006 c1 
17sporkofdoom
My favorite parts of this were the first stanza, "having outlawed lights and sounds" and "sensory assault."I continue to be amazed.
17sporkofdoomMy favorite parts of this were the first stanza, "having outlawed lights and sounds" and "sensory assault."I continue to be amazed.
9/26/2006 c1 61the.pink.life
I really love the first line of this poem - that image of cold window grilles is so perfect. And I liked how you said "today morning" because that's not a common phrase, and it's interesting. I think the 64-color paint set metaphor is reaching a bit far - it didn't work that well for me. And was the beginning of that metaphor (the "Pastel shades..." part) supposed to be on it's own line? Otherwise that second line seems really long. But I do love all the use of color in this, the lime green turning to pale yellow, and gray giving way to color at the end. Keep writing! :)
61the.pink.lifeI really love the first line of this poem - that image of cold window grilles is so perfect. And I liked how you said "today morning" because that's not a common phrase, and it's interesting. I think the 64-color paint set metaphor is reaching a bit far - it didn't work that well for me. And was the beginning of that metaphor (the "Pastel shades..." part) supposed to be on it's own line? Otherwise that second line seems really long. But I do love all the use of color in this, the lime green turning to pale yellow, and gray giving way to color at the end. Keep writing! :)
9/24/2006 c1 219S Noelle Long
The mention of the guitar and the color grey remind me of the Counting Crows song "Mr Jones."
The imagery in this just doesn't capture me like I thought it would after the first stanza. Maybe it's too concrete and you could go so far with the "grey" and "black and white" approach that you began. I wish you had gone farther with that, the philosophical connotations that are attached to those colors.
Overall, it's a decent poem, but I don't think the rest of it is quite as strong as those first three lines.
219S Noelle LongThe mention of the guitar and the color grey remind me of the Counting Crows song "Mr Jones."
The imagery in this just doesn't capture me like I thought it would after the first stanza. Maybe it's too concrete and you could go so far with the "grey" and "black and white" approach that you began. I wish you had gone farther with that, the philosophical connotations that are attached to those colors.
Overall, it's a decent poem, but I don't think the rest of it is quite as strong as those first three lines.
9/21/2006 c1 130b-U-b-TRUE
This is beautiful! It really shows how simple thing like music bring colour into our lives! Keep writing!
130b-U-b-TRUEThis is beautiful! It really shows how simple thing like music bring colour into our lives! Keep writing!