for Stones And Apple Bark10/3/2006 c1 Iris Early Is Cold
Oh. Not sure I like this one as much as some of the others - it's a little pretentious in places - but the language is lovely, especially the second bit. I have issues with the last line though - apples do not have feet. Even in the sense of being on the ground in front of them, they don't. And the comma in the middle shouldn't be there.Your rhyme scheme was cool though. Like an inverted sonnet, AABBCCDDEFEF. Fun.
Oh. Not sure I like this one as much as some of the others - it's a little pretentious in places - but the language is lovely, especially the second bit. I have issues with the last line though - apples do not have feet. Even in the sense of being on the ground in front of them, they don't. And the comma in the middle shouldn't be there.Your rhyme scheme was cool though. Like an inverted sonnet, AABBCCDDEFEF. Fun.
10/3/2006 c1 poppy nowis
oh pretty. but sad = ( i love the last line x
oh pretty. but sad = ( i love the last line x