for Bite Your Tongue3/27/2007 c1 
10blue.eyes.can.be.deceiving
My absolute favorite part of this is the last paragraph, "her burning blue eyes" very interesting.
pkease continue!
10blue.eyes.can.be.deceivingMy absolute favorite part of this is the last paragraph, "her burning blue eyes" very interesting.
pkease continue!
1/7/2007 c1 10faultlessimperfection
Nice, keep writing. One thing you put "there" instead of their in the sentence "So I take it you don’t like handsome young princes, or there trusty steeds?" You may want to fix that. Otherwise very good, and please put the next chapter up soon.
P.S. Have you read the Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce, this makes me think of that. If you have read it, be careful to make sure your story is not too similar to it. And if you havn't then I recomend you do.
crazyfish
10faultlessimperfectionNice, keep writing. One thing you put "there" instead of their in the sentence "So I take it you don’t like handsome young princes, or there trusty steeds?" You may want to fix that. Otherwise very good, and please put the next chapter up soon.
P.S. Have you read the Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce, this makes me think of that. If you have read it, be careful to make sure your story is not too similar to it. And if you havn't then I recomend you do.
crazyfish
11/27/2006 c1 11otakuprincess
Haha just saw your review on shadowpyro's story and dropped by to say that it sucks being that girl.
Love the story, very cute. Wish you had more up.
11otakuprincessHaha just saw your review on shadowpyro's story and dropped by to say that it sucks being that girl.
Love the story, very cute. Wish you had more up.
10/27/2006 c1 2lifesabeach
This is a great start and I hope you will keep writing.
The first paragraph had me worried - evil old witch and all...but I loved how it led into the actual story. Are you planning on keeping the story set in the current time, or will it fast forward to when she's a hot young warrior babe and kicks booty left and right? Grr. Don't mess with Aidan.
I'll be checking up on you!
2lifesabeachThis is a great start and I hope you will keep writing.
The first paragraph had me worried - evil old witch and all...but I loved how it led into the actual story. Are you planning on keeping the story set in the current time, or will it fast forward to when she's a hot young warrior babe and kicks booty left and right? Grr. Don't mess with Aidan.
I'll be checking up on you!
10/1/2006 c1 4Imalefty
when i first started reading this, i was like: "...a once upon a time story? with a witch eating little kids? this doesn't sound like it could develop into a piece." but i was proved wrong! it seems like this could develop into a very promising piece! i love Aiden's character- she's so cute and tomboyish. i wonder if she will need saving and meet that handsome prince? ; )
i wonder what adventures await little Aiden? and i'd really like to meet her father, the trader and soldier. =)
i don't dislike anything at the moment. though i might caution you about words like "there" "their" and "they're" because there were a few times where you used one and should have used the other. "there mothers" should be "their mothers." other than that, it's a great start! i'm happy to see you've written another story! (and thanks for your review on mine. =P)
keep writng!
-Lefty
ps- i love those long reviews, too. ehehehe...
4Imaleftywhen i first started reading this, i was like: "...a once upon a time story? with a witch eating little kids? this doesn't sound like it could develop into a piece." but i was proved wrong! it seems like this could develop into a very promising piece! i love Aiden's character- she's so cute and tomboyish. i wonder if she will need saving and meet that handsome prince? ; )
i wonder what adventures await little Aiden? and i'd really like to meet her father, the trader and soldier. =)
i don't dislike anything at the moment. though i might caution you about words like "there" "their" and "they're" because there were a few times where you used one and should have used the other. "there mothers" should be "their mothers." other than that, it's a great start! i'm happy to see you've written another story! (and thanks for your review on mine. =P)
keep writng!
-Lefty
ps- i love those long reviews, too. ehehehe...
10/1/2006 c1 2Kryis
I really liked this chapter. The beginning was a great way to start it out, it really caught my attention. Aidan seems like a very interesting character and egarly await your next chapter to meet the rest of your characters. Just out of curiosity, is there going to be any romance in this story? Sorry, I had to ask, I'm a sucker for romances with a tomboy girl. Well, hurry up and update soon. I shall check my e-mails, waiting for your chapter update!
Till then!
~Xiaphr
2KryisI really liked this chapter. The beginning was a great way to start it out, it really caught my attention. Aidan seems like a very interesting character and egarly await your next chapter to meet the rest of your characters. Just out of curiosity, is there going to be any romance in this story? Sorry, I had to ask, I'm a sucker for romances with a tomboy girl. Well, hurry up and update soon. I shall check my e-mails, waiting for your chapter update!
Till then!
~Xiaphr
9/30/2006 c1 expElectrik
This is a very good begining, i especially like your writing style plz update!
This is a very good begining, i especially like your writing style plz update!