for Ballerinas and Businessmen3/28/2007 c2 
16brokendreams21
I swear, I promised to review this like a million years ago...but yeah. I'm finally getting around to it...in class. But sh...that's besides the point.
So anyways, this re-write is as pretty and as powerful as the first. =D This all makes me happy. It pretty much made my day here at school.
I can hear the music. Odd...seeing as how I can only really hear my class. Hrrm...
This is some pretty stuff...Better review from me later. =D Teacher is getting suspicious...
Awesome job!
KATTY
16brokendreams21I swear, I promised to review this like a million years ago...but yeah. I'm finally getting around to it...in class. But sh...that's besides the point.
So anyways, this re-write is as pretty and as powerful as the first. =D This all makes me happy. It pretty much made my day here at school.
I can hear the music. Odd...seeing as how I can only really hear my class. Hrrm...
This is some pretty stuff...Better review from me later. =D Teacher is getting suspicious...
Awesome job!
KATTY
3/13/2007 c2 57empathic life
And here I thought it couldn't get any better. Just... wow. I'm entirely speechless. I love the way you really emphasized the dancing bit, and the alliteration was so very perfect. The original poem was great, but this is just... incredible. It goes so much deeper into the idea... Agh. I'm totally speechless, babe. Yours, Alex
57empathic lifeAnd here I thought it couldn't get any better. Just... wow. I'm entirely speechless. I love the way you really emphasized the dancing bit, and the alliteration was so very perfect. The original poem was great, but this is just... incredible. It goes so much deeper into the idea... Agh. I'm totally speechless, babe. Yours, Alex
3/13/2007 c1 empathic life
So. Apparently, I never reviewed the first version of this poem. So now I am. ^^ Honestly, babe, I'm wondering what you could've done with the re-write to make it better. It's already pretty darn astounding. I love the imagery, and the way you play with the words. It makes everything so vivid. Another great poem, Felicia. ^^ Yours, Alex
So. Apparently, I never reviewed the first version of this poem. So now I am. ^^ Honestly, babe, I'm wondering what you could've done with the re-write to make it better. It's already pretty darn astounding. I love the imagery, and the way you play with the words. It makes everything so vivid. Another great poem, Felicia. ^^ Yours, Alex
3/11/2007 c2 136Elliptical Shapes
It seems abstract to me in many places and it is better for it. I like the fourth from last stanza, it really picks up the piece.
Alan.
136Elliptical ShapesIt seems abstract to me in many places and it is better for it. I like the fourth from last stanza, it really picks up the piece.
Alan.
3/9/2007 c2 2Sir Scott
I think I would like to die in saddle. Anyway, that poem did remind me of a dream. How all sorts of people who don't belong together are somehow there. Keep up the good work.
~SirScott
2Sir ScottI think I would like to die in saddle. Anyway, that poem did remind me of a dream. How all sorts of people who don't belong together are somehow there. Keep up the good work.
~SirScott
3/7/2007 c2 33WyrdWolf
Ooh, Iambic Pentameter. Are you guys reading Julius Caesar, too?
I love storytelling stuff; songs and poetry that recount an event-they're a fav of mine. I especially love your little bursts of alliteration: jugglers and janitors, missiles and missionaries. They sound fantastic as well as having depth.
Outstanding.
Shane
33WyrdWolfOoh, Iambic Pentameter. Are you guys reading Julius Caesar, too?
I love storytelling stuff; songs and poetry that recount an event-they're a fav of mine. I especially love your little bursts of alliteration: jugglers and janitors, missiles and missionaries. They sound fantastic as well as having depth.
Outstanding.
Shane
10/19/2006 c1 829Anaare
Wonderful, wonderful! I really enjoyed reading this, felicia. It has a rhythm to it, a natural balance. And it works. All I can say is: a good poem.
829AnaareWonderful, wonderful! I really enjoyed reading this, felicia. It has a rhythm to it, a natural balance. And it works. All I can say is: a good poem.
10/3/2006 c1 879Moondog Dozier
This has a wonderful rhythmn. A beat or pace really. I like the repetition that glues the whole thing together. And again, I truly like your conceptualization skills. You come up with unique themes and then surprise the reader with the sound and flow of the content. Well, back to this one in particular, the intensity of it works well. The beginning kind of slowly develops to a crescendo, and then escalates after "And I can't find myself willing to care", the next five stanzas can be read through the word placement very rapidly, which matches the falling darkness of the theme. You consistently do well with dark themes because you don't over do with excess. On a progression of the writer applause and compliment, you've really grown as a writer. You've expanded your literary borders tremendously since i've begun reading, so keep writing and working with other writers. MD:77.
879Moondog DozierThis has a wonderful rhythmn. A beat or pace really. I like the repetition that glues the whole thing together. And again, I truly like your conceptualization skills. You come up with unique themes and then surprise the reader with the sound and flow of the content. Well, back to this one in particular, the intensity of it works well. The beginning kind of slowly develops to a crescendo, and then escalates after "And I can't find myself willing to care", the next five stanzas can be read through the word placement very rapidly, which matches the falling darkness of the theme. You consistently do well with dark themes because you don't over do with excess. On a progression of the writer applause and compliment, you've really grown as a writer. You've expanded your literary borders tremendously since i've begun reading, so keep writing and working with other writers. MD:77.
10/2/2006 c1 General Populus Sloan
In your review of my story you said you wanted the opinion of the general populus. Well, here it goes.
Blerg.
Have a nice day.
In your review of my story you said you wanted the opinion of the general populus. Well, here it goes.
Blerg.
Have a nice day.
10/1/2006 c1 heryseshta
I like this poem, it feels like she is casting her cares to the wind. It's carefree, spontaneous and unconventional. It also has a nice flow to it.
I like this poem, it feels like she is casting her cares to the wind. It's carefree, spontaneous and unconventional. It also has a nice flow to it.