Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Heart Divided

1/4/2007 c32 Alenor
heya, this is a great chappie. i'm so glad that alerts are working again! i can't wait for more to see what happens in the capital. are they going to get found out i wonder? ahh well, cya later ~ Alenor.
1/1/2007 c31 Alenor
heya, these are two great chappies. i can't wait for more to see what happens while they're in the zurate capital. cya later ~ Alenor.
12/29/2006 c29 5Fahr
Saldin's becoming a real pain... But cheers wot wot on two great chapters, old chap.

But the whole -edly pattern ya've got going distracts from the action. A lot. Not to mention adding both -ed and -ly to some words doesn't work properly in the English language. 'Annoyedly', for example, is not a word. In the fourth sentence of chapter twenty-nine, it would be easier to write:

Kera groaned 'in annoyance' and got up off the floor.
12/29/2006 c29 Alenor
oh i really hope they can capture saldin before he reaches zura. can't wait for more ~ Alenor.
12/27/2006 c27 Fahr
Kera's sense of -sardonic- humor is funny in a simple, positive way. It fits well with her personality and you've been able to keep it going without letting it get out of hand or annoying.

And it's impressive how you can allow the story to grow before the war starts, keeping it interesting and wonderful to read. Even if I can't squeeze in any nice, meaty reviews (time doesn't permit these days), I'll continue reading!
12/27/2006 c27 Alenor
heya, this is a great chappie. i love it, can't wait for more ~ Alenor.
12/25/2006 c26 Alenor
heya, this is great. i love it. i can't wait for more. lol, cyril likes kera! i hope he realises it soon. MERRY CHRISTMAS ~ ALenor.
12/23/2006 c25 Alenor
heya, this is a great few chappies. i love it. can't wait for more. saldin is horrible though. cya later ~ Alenor.
12/21/2006 c22 Alenor
heya, this is two great chappies. i can't wait for more to see people's reactions to kera being dressed up nicely like a girl for once. cya later ~ Alenor.
12/17/2006 c20 Alenor
heya, great chappie. i can't wait for more to see what happens at the wedding. and are ian and leana kera's grandparents? i figure they must be. ah well, cya next time ~ Alenor.
12/12/2006 c19 Alenor
heya, this is a great chappie. someone's bound to find out what saldin did to kera though. i can't wait for more to see what happens next ~ Alenor.
12/3/2006 c18 Fahr
Interesting chapter. The Zurates must have a surprisingly good fighting style if a single (and /teenage/) person can pin so many most likely older and larger soldiers in such a short period of time while using the same method every time. Is Kera sparring only with her hands or are they using any weapons? If weaponless, this technique might be a little awkward on a battlefield with multiple enemies charging at once. ...Or is this just a sparring method to get the men's attention? Wait for the attack and pin?

Ouch, that does it for Meerna...
11/28/2006 c18 Alenor
heya, this is a great chappie. i can't wait for more ~ Alenor.
11/27/2006 c17 2Stang65
Really hate that Saldin. He sucks! Can't wait to read more of this story. I'm anxious to see what happens in the training episodes. Betcha Kera kicks some Keelite booty.
11/26/2006 c17 Alenor
gah, saldin is horrible, such a bastard. ahh well, i can't wait for more to see what happens ~ Alenor.
268 « Prev Page 1 .. 6 13 14 15 16 17 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service