for Heart Divided6/5/2007 c10 Michaelia
Um... Im not sure if you have mentioned this yet but I am in chapter 10 and I dont know the age of many people. Maybe just Cyril and he seems a bit old. D:
And you arent very descriptive with the physical appearance of these characters.
Um... Im not sure if you have mentioned this yet but I am in chapter 10 and I dont know the age of many people. Maybe just Cyril and he seems a bit old. D:
And you arent very descriptive with the physical appearance of these characters.
6/1/2007 c3 Michaelia
I'm on chapter 3 and I know this is pretty early into the story but I have a few things to comment on.
First of all... I don't like how you make the characters address each other. It's too formal even for the kind of situation the characters are put in. You dont go into great detail of the surroundings or what the people are thinking and even though physical descriptions of the characters are made, they arent in detail either.
I will continue reading because this seems like a decent plit line but I kinda feel annoyed by the way you are writing a few things.
I'm on chapter 3 and I know this is pretty early into the story but I have a few things to comment on.
First of all... I don't like how you make the characters address each other. It's too formal even for the kind of situation the characters are put in. You dont go into great detail of the surroundings or what the people are thinking and even though physical descriptions of the characters are made, they arent in detail either.
I will continue reading because this seems like a decent plit line but I kinda feel annoyed by the way you are writing a few things.
5/29/2007 c73 
2Stang65
I think I forgot to review this chapter - it was so good, now I am ashamed. I totally love how Cyril and Kera are getting along. They are so cute together. I want you to send me a Cyril via FedEx as soon as possible.
Please update soon!
2Stang65I think I forgot to review this chapter - it was so good, now I am ashamed. I totally love how Cyril and Kera are getting along. They are so cute together. I want you to send me a Cyril via FedEx as soon as possible.
Please update soon!
5/25/2007 c73 Tuiki
It's probably three out of a million that the author will find this. But glad you updated. :3
CONTINUE...I read so fast, so it ends so fast. :(
It's probably three out of a million that the author will find this. But glad you updated. :3
CONTINUE...I read so fast, so it ends so fast. :(
5/7/2007 c72 2Stang65
LOVED it! I like the relationship between Cyril and Kera - close friends yet that extra something that love brings. Don't know how to explain it, but so cute! Good to see that they are planning the war out a little better too. Hopefully their ally troops will be trained in time...
GREAT JOB!
2Stang65LOVED it! I like the relationship between Cyril and Kera - close friends yet that extra something that love brings. Don't know how to explain it, but so cute! Good to see that they are planning the war out a little better too. Hopefully their ally troops will be trained in time...
GREAT JOB!
5/4/2007 c72 1Keja Toshiro
m.. kinda pointless chapter it seems, more of a filler like you kinda got your aim done and aren't sure where to go next...
1Keja Toshirom.. kinda pointless chapter it seems, more of a filler like you kinda got your aim done and aren't sure where to go next...
5/3/2007 c72 Tuiki
Reminds me of what my sister would do...I'd hack off her limbs...
Anyway, hope Jana isn't upset...
Nice fluffiness. By the way, why am I getting a bad vibe from the war related to death and loved one? You better not kill anyone off...near dead is okay. ACTUALLY DEAD, ISN'T.
And I agree, it does work in stories...not so much in real life. I still can't imagine kiss somebody with a bird on my arm. ^^
Well, continue SOON PELASE!
Reminds me of what my sister would do...I'd hack off her limbs...
Anyway, hope Jana isn't upset...
Nice fluffiness. By the way, why am I getting a bad vibe from the war related to death and loved one? You better not kill anyone off...near dead is okay. ACTUALLY DEAD, ISN'T.
And I agree, it does work in stories...not so much in real life. I still can't imagine kiss somebody with a bird on my arm. ^^
Well, continue SOON PELASE!
5/1/2007 c71 2Stang65
FINALLY! Been waiting for this kiss for 71 chapters girl! BTW, such a great chapter, loved it! Be sure to update soon.
2Stang65FINALLY! Been waiting for this kiss for 71 chapters girl! BTW, such a great chapter, loved it! Be sure to update soon.
4/30/2007 c71 Aralinn
YaY! I have been waiting ssoo long for them to admit their feelings for each other, though I am glad you waited and let readers get to know he characters and their history.
I love this story and you have done an excelent job writting it, I believe throughout this whole story I have found maybe 3 errors, which in my opinion is awsome.
Good luck with thsi story.
Aralìnn
YaY! I have been waiting ssoo long for them to admit their feelings for each other, though I am glad you waited and let readers get to know he characters and their history.
I love this story and you have done an excelent job writting it, I believe throughout this whole story I have found maybe 3 errors, which in my opinion is awsome.
Good luck with thsi story.
Aralìnn
4/29/2007 c71 Tuiki
I feel like Kera right now, My heart is screaming...
The only thing I don't understand, how does somebody kiss somebody with a bird, a falcon infact on their arm? That just seems amusing...
unless I missed a part about Cyril letting Arek go somewhere. ^^;
I feel like Kera right now, My heart is screaming...
The only thing I don't understand, how does somebody kiss somebody with a bird, a falcon infact on their arm? That just seems amusing...
unless I missed a part about Cyril letting Arek go somewhere. ^^;
4/28/2007 c71 2Padrona dei Polli
! He finally did it! ^^ Awesome chappie, again, can't wait for the next one!
2Padrona dei Polli! He finally did it! ^^ Awesome chappie, again, can't wait for the next one!
4/23/2007 c70 2Stang65
I LOVED IT! The whole scene with Kera tying up Caden in the tack room... GREAT! Then the prank that Jana pulled - it was a classic way to get to the "tomboy" Kera. One she won't soon forget either... I personally can hardly wait until Cyril finally tells that special someone about his feelings for her. It's ABOUT TIME!
2Stang65I LOVED IT! The whole scene with Kera tying up Caden in the tack room... GREAT! Then the prank that Jana pulled - it was a classic way to get to the "tomboy" Kera. One she won't soon forget either... I personally can hardly wait until Cyril finally tells that special someone about his feelings for her. It's ABOUT TIME!