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for message in a bottle

10/19/2010 c1 11LittleOda
I have to say that the first thing that drew me to your page was the name...Burnt Bread. I love it! It's great!

But about the little message in a bottle. I always thought a message in a bottle was a really cool idea. I like yours. It begins casual, with the whole, "Guess I'm going fine." and delves deeper with the feelings of love, and then, "Waiting for a change of weather" seems a casual end as well but has so much more meaning.

Great job!

-GH
10/25/2006 c1 4Sakka-Fenikkusu
I completely understand people mistaking you for a poet. I have more poems than stories, too. I prefer to think of myself as a poetic writer.

"A million love songs lay useless on the desk because they never touch on the feelings that are weighing in my chest."

I feel so tempted to make fun of you for this. Consider yourself lucky that I'm not posting on all my forums, "Bread writes sappiness!" Okay, I wouldn't really do that. Or would I?

Nice job with this. I love everything you write. I worship everything you write. You make me really not want to eat any bread. Because, it feels like... cannibalism.

BREAD IS GOD

WORSHIP BREAD

Ok, so maybe that's going a little too far, considering that you reacted to me just calling you "awesome", but, really, you rock beyond belief.

Without Brains

Ms. Fenikkusu
10/24/2006 c1 18Sevidian
Very, very, very good! I loved this. Keep writing, because you have got talent. This was definately the best poem I've ever read!
10/24/2006 c1 David Lovato
Wow... this was so good, it gave me chills.

Possibly the first thing I've read on Fictionpress to do so.

Amazing work, keep it up.
10/22/2006 c1 31Nurgette
This is quite a good piece; you have used some great phrases, such as "People are... time" and "Your whispers...veins", and the rhyming isn't too overpowering. It is in an interesting format; not quite poem and not quite prose/letter. I think more could have been said if it were slightly longer, but nevertheless, it is an interesting bit of writing.
10/19/2006 c1 56felicia13
Way to have self-doubt. Don't delete poems ... it's sad. Poetry = fun. Even if you don't think so ...

Ok. This was pretty nice. It brings to mind a lot of things ... like a person standing amidst a crowd in fast-forward, so that they're standing there in normal time while everything moves past them. Also brings up the pool of blood next to the dead body holding the still-smoking gun.

So, it was pretty good and thought-provoking. Great work!

Felicia.
10/19/2006 c1 33WyrdWolf
^_^ I know, it's such a cause for celebration! This was sweet, though, and I love the last two lines. Very cool.

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