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for Lady Goes to College And Falls in Love

8/19/2007 c2 4The Cheerio

Grow into a b cup and get a degree.

:) Very nice humor.

Update soon!
1/27/2007 c1 7The Breakdancing Ninja
Okay, I was running through my reviews, when I saw you smashed in between all these other people a few pages back! That's so horrid; I return all reviews, and I felt like I betrayed you or something with my awful summary that says I return reviews! I'm here, though, hoping you'll forgive me.

[If I were a guy at PCD, I wouldn’t ask myself out either.] PSH. I would! I feel sorry for her; she said something earlier about how sending someone prematurely to college (especially before prom hahaha) is kind of like, speeding up the person's age and making them older. If I were a parent, I would probably let my kid graduate with his class, because it's important for him to be with people his age while he is in his early stages of development; that is, unless he WANTS to attend college, then I'd be like: "Pshaw. Saves ME money!"

[He practically gives her a Tiffany’s necklace every time she picks up a pencil.] LOL lucky Lena.

Lady is really out of place among all these rich, cute ditzes. Her personality is pretty normal so far, so she doesn't have some insane defect from being too smart or too exceptional. She is actually quite laid back! The narration runs by pretty smooth, but I wish this chapter had a little bit more of Lady's humor nearing the end, because she's what keeps the chapter bright and interesting.

Hopefully you'll come and visit my site again, Supergal!
1/8/2007 c1 12elisefey
I was surprised at how quickly the opening of this story grabbed my attention. There was an engaging narrative voice and unusual circumstances to pique my curiosity. Unfortunately, as the chapter progressed, the pace of the story itself slowed down incredibly for the sake of this party which currently doesn't interest me at all. It just appears to be a bunch of people standing around without any purpose to furthering the plot, particularly because nothing important happens at the party before the end of the chapter. I get the impression that you're trying to create the sensation that Lady has a life to leave behind that she will miss when she goes to college but that would be better shown through the conversations she has with her friends at the party and the possible trouble they get into together than describing the party itself.

Other than that problem, the writing is good: a natural style and flow of words, plus I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors (thank you, thank you, thank you for that!) In addition, I think the plot could prove interesting once it actually starts to get developed. Keep it up!
1/6/2007 c2 akb-inactive
Hey, I'm here to return the favor.. hehe. Thanks for reviewing Mint and Pepper!

Tottered. Isn't that such a funny word. :)

Ok... I'm so sorry, I'm review burnt. I can't concentrate.

I'll just end this with... you've improved from your last update. It's a lot funnier, and it's smoother and more.. natural. Keep it up!
1/5/2007 c1 4cinko
First of all, I'd like to give you a big high five and do a little 'LOL'ing because you write oh-so well, and in a manner which keeps me reading every line and every word.

On a more negative point of view, I think your descriptions are still wonderful, but are a bit awkward. For example, the fragment, "...a six-packing owning, lacrosse-playing, black-haired, black-eyed, Brandon Davis kind of hottie" sounded strange when I read it aloud (yes. I'm sorry, I'm such a freak that way xD).

Besides the mentioned, I really, REALLY love your work. It's absolutely breathtaking. I hope you continue soon!

take care
1/4/2007 c2 8writerwithoutacause
Yes I was going to mention the mary sue thing.

Good job, this chapter was better than the last(not that there was anything wrong with the last) its just good progress.

Keep writing and just try to avoid every cliche possible, again lots of things are cliched but try to not have them one after another.

And no your story isn't like that yet, but I see minor hints that it could become like that.
1/4/2007 c1 writerwithoutacause
Good start, well written and a fairly original idea. That's a compliment, because nothing is truly 100 percent original.

Lady hah, original name I like it.
1/4/2007 c1 2Ghost Love Score
Hey! It's Me from youngwriters101. Thanks for the reply.

I love the way you started this, launching straight in. It's a very different way to set the scene and it works well.
1/1/2007 c1 3Da Vinci at Work
Astounding beginning. 15 year old...university...must be super genius.
1/1/2007 c2 1Faeya
I don't usually like humor stories, but this one definately made me laugh. You kind of abused your …'s, but it's nothing too big. I love Lady's character and, boy, spilling tampax must be thrilling on the first day of being at college.

So, like, update soon, mmkay?
1/1/2007 c2 22marinawings
hi there! sorry i didn't post a review earlier. my email alerts are on the fritz. anyway, great chapter! i love how your characters are so realistic. they're just like people i know. and lady is someone readers can relate with-not perfect, but smart and trying to make it through college. she's very likable. keep up the good work.
12/29/2006 c2 silenceremains
ahh Stupid high heels making you trip and fall on your face. lol I've done that one too many times. Great story so far and I really like her name. Oh and as for the college thing I'm afraid I can't help you there. I still have one more semester of high school left. :)
12/27/2006 c2 MeiLeeCalifornia
Very well done! I definitely look forward to reading more. If you need any help, I graduated from college, and had the fun experience of living in the dorms and all that jazz. Feel free to ask me any questions on details. Write more soon!
12/27/2006 c2 1monkey08
it's awsome update soon i wanna read more
10/22/2006 c1 1skylights
Nice first chapter! It sounds like it will turn out to be a great story.

Oh, and thanks for the review on Locker 216, I've updated!
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