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for Love Pt 2

10/20/2006 c1 59Frore
This poem is very innocuous and straight forward. I remember that my old English teacher told us that poetry was basically writing one extended metaphor; however, this piece was very "I rather tell u on your voicemail because I don't want to hear what u have 2 say so soon..." There was absolutely nothing in the way of description.

Try relying on imagery and lyrical comparisons next time, I think you will like the result much more.
10/20/2006 c1 22BrokenandBeautiful
sorry but I dont like it. The lines are boxy they dont flow smoothly, and sorry but if ur 14 ur not in love. trust me...
10/20/2006 c1 x account closed x
Hey this was cute, confusion is obvious and it sucks about yout mom breaking you two up. There were a few speeling/grammer errors but they didn't distract from the text all too much so it's okey just profread next time. i loved this line,"..or real love/ No one ever/told me the difference."

nice job :)

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