Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for October's Goodbye

3/6/2007 c1 8hagiasophia
aw so swet! so dreamy and loving! wonderful imagery and the tone was perfect! ☻
12/11/2006 c1 612simpleplan13
aw... I like that ending... the whole piece has beautiful descriptions... great piece
11/1/2006 c1 51Spider-Matt
I didn't think first line flowed so well, but it works with the stanza. Does Colorado have fireflies? Also, I don't think whips cackle. That was the only part I didn't like. Branches cackle... but whips don't. The end was nice, though. I love the mood.
10/26/2006 c1 18Lynaeve
This is a very nice poem. I love Fall and Halloween and you captured the atmosphere of both very well. You had some wonderful images. Well done.
10/26/2006 c1 19phantom-jedi
A nice poem. One quick suggestion: in the last stanza, change either plural or singular so that you keep the same tense for your ab,ab style, e.g. "whips" and "lips" works a little better.

Overall, a nice snapshot. Keep writing!

phantom_jedi
10/24/2006 c1 Devin Brines
Solid poem. Lots of imagery...I like the rhyming style or whatever one would call it. This is your best poem on here, in my opinion. Cool beans; keep it up.
10/24/2006 c1 829Anaare
I liked it. It had an wonderful atmosphere about it, that makes for a nice read. Lovely imagery. A good poem and well done!
10/23/2006 c1 17sunday night sky
The last line is unbelievably gorgeous! Beautiful imagery all the way through, reminds me exactly of autumn and Halloween. Amazing metaphors - the leafless branches cackle like whips, so powerful! Great piece :D
10/22/2006 c1 132mizu no kokoro
aw... very sweet^^ i like the mood of this poem

keep writing
10/22/2006 c1 197riotmaker
this is gorgeous. the rhyme scheme is so perfect it's almost unnoticeable.

xoxo
10/22/2006 c1 8Alio Laski
Wow, I really liked this. "Have ran" should be "have run," but other than that you have wonderful syntax etc. I love the imagry in this... there is something so strangely romantic about Halloween and the fall season, I think.. This is short and sweet, definitely. I love it :)

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service