for Fly and Not Fall12/17/2006 c1 QueenJewels
Bravo...I always knew that you had talent. Now I am glad that I came here just to read your work. Love it!
Bravo...I always knew that you had talent. Now I am glad that I came here just to read your work. Love it!
10/26/2006 c1 Crossing the Rubicon
This is definitely a lovely piece, but I think the rhyme scheme is limiting it. For example, "So take your leave- i'll still be, / After you fall, without a thing." It would sound much better if you just said:
"So take your leave - after you fall,
I'll still be without a thing."
The meaning is also hard to read in these lines: "There's no stopping you now / that quiet lies are truths anew" Having 'now' at the end of that first line rather than at the beginning of the second confuses the meaning at first.
I love the first and last two lines. Good job.
This is definitely a lovely piece, but I think the rhyme scheme is limiting it. For example, "So take your leave- i'll still be, / After you fall, without a thing." It would sound much better if you just said:
"So take your leave - after you fall,
I'll still be without a thing."
The meaning is also hard to read in these lines: "There's no stopping you now / that quiet lies are truths anew" Having 'now' at the end of that first line rather than at the beginning of the second confuses the meaning at first.
I love the first and last two lines. Good job.
10/26/2006 c1 
6Ace Lee Bailey
I love those poems, that start with a line following you, and build up. I love this one, amazing, as is everything you write dear.
6Ace Lee BaileyI love those poems, that start with a line following you, and build up. I love this one, amazing, as is everything you write dear.
10/25/2006 c1 202Terence the Terrible
Simply stated, that was AWESOME. I love the way you wrote this…your wording is very thoughtful. All in all, a marvelous work! Keep writing!
p.s. Thank you so much for the review. It really made my day :)
202Terence the TerribleSimply stated, that was AWESOME. I love the way you wrote this…your wording is very thoughtful. All in all, a marvelous work! Keep writing!
p.s. Thank you so much for the review. It really made my day :)